Stress, Seriousness and Sunshine

I can't believe that it has been over a month since my last post. Busyness seems to be the adjective that I use, the excuse that I offer and the answer that I give. Then I look at my bookshelf and I see books like, "Too Busy Not to Pray" and "Weary Warriors and Fainting Saints" oh good grief, where to start?? I was thinking this morning as I was driving about trying to get up early in the morning. It seems like no matter what I do, my eyes want to slam shut and why is it that your bed is never as cozy as when you are suppose to be out of it???!!! I found myself crying out to the Lord on the way to drop my daughter to school, "Forgive me, Lord for my apathy."

I have looked at my life and my schedule over the last couple days. It is so important that we learn balance in our lives. I took my kids to the park yesterday (Hallelujah, the sun actually does come out once in a while in Chicago!!) and my daughter wanted to pretend that the see-saw was a balance beam. She told me, "Mom, it is so easy when you put your hands out like this." She stretched her arms out to the side and confidently walked the line in front of her. Are you getting the spiritual picture?? A scripture that has been on the forefront of my mind of late is Colossians 2:6, "Just as you received Jesus as lord, continue to live in Him." I don't remember coming to the Lord, clinging to my old life, or hanging on to someone or something. I remember the moments of surrender and breakthrough where I threw out my arms and said, "Here I am Lord, I surrender." So, as time goes on at least in my life, I have grabbed on to a few things and I am trying to walk the path of life with a pile of stuff throwing me off and blocking my view. We were saved by grace and that is how we are to live.

I have asked the Lord and mulled over this "walking by grace" a lot over the past couple weeks. I don't like living with a heavy heart or with a nagging frustration like a cough that never quite goes away. How does the "grace walk" look? A lot like my daughter on her balance beam. Arms out, head held high and confident smile. As I was doing dishes on Sunday, I began to weep before the Lord while I told Him that I feel like my grace walk lasts about 3 minutes and then I try and pick up a load. I told Him how frustrated I get that I can't seem to get it right for very long at a time. This is where the keeping on comes in. If we taught our kids just to throw in the towel when they fell off their bikes, there would be a lot of dusty bikes in garages. Just as we received, CONTINUE!!! Paul follows this with saying that we should be "rooted and built up and strengthened in the faith and overflowing with thankfulness" (Colossians 2:7). My prayer these days is root me God, build me up IN YOU.

My daughter made a type of Chia Pet at school with a clear cup and grass seed. She named him Hairy. Hairy grows so quickly. It is neat to look through the cup and see the roots stretching down. I have done some heart checking and I believe that sometimes struggle is the result of planting our little selves in something other than the Lord. My own abilities and my own limited perspectives are often the soil of my actions. Paul goes on to tell us in verse 9 that, "We have been given fullness in Christ." I don't want emptiness, in fact I don't even want half-fullness. I want overflow and abundance and that only comes from ROOTING, SETTLING IN, in CHRIST. He is where I fix my thoughts. He is where I leave my circumstances.

Today is Yellow Day for my daughter's Kindergarten class. We went to Target and bought a yellow shirt for her and a cute yellow flower headband. While I was brushing her teeth this morning, she asked me, "Mom, do you know what this shirt reminds me of?" "What," I asked. "Hope!" she proclaimed. "This shirt reminds me that we have hope in Jesus." No joke. My daughter is really more spiritually mature than a lot of adults I know. I'm not trying to brag, it is the reality though. If more of us adults put on our yellow shirts and thought about the hope we have in Jesus instead of putting on our impressive duds that make us feel better about ourselves, the world would seem to be a bit brighter.

Lord, thank you that you never give up on me. Thank you for the sunshine that you have given me through my family. (My youngest ray of sunshine is hanging on my neck!!) Thank you for my daughter, Lord, who reminds me to keep this life in perspective and to walk on, arms outstretched, confident in Almighty God.