Okay, okay. Yes it has been a long time since I have written anything. Life often sneaks up on you! We've had company and a sick little one. It is crazy how quickly time can pass. The time has not just been filled with busyness, but with contemplation.
Just looking at the title of this blog made my mind begin to go, go, go... (By the way, I am going to purchase a new Best Selling book entitled, "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" and it is about the proper use of commas. Many of you grammarians will be relieved I'm sure!) Anyway, back to the title, "Yes, I'm still here." That title could sum up what I have been feeling these last weeks. (This blog is going to turn out being very different from my others, I think...) Do you ever feel like you are still "here." Stuck in a season. Stuck in the mud. Stuck in a valley. Left in the dust. Lost. Forgotten. Unimportant. Worthless. Do those feelings ever come over you like they do me? I wake up feeling like, "Yep. I'm still here. Still where I was when I went to bed last night. Still where I was 3 weeks ago." The title of an old book keeps going through my head, "Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately?" That would about sum it up for me I think.
When I have feelings like this I become a poor friend. A sub-par mother. A wife that isn't much of a help mate. After concluding this I can say with confidence that these feelings and emotions are not productive. Nevertheless, they are real feelings and they need to be dealt with. It would be nice if we could snap our finger and make them go away. We could just sing "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart." Most people would agree that sometimes it just isn't quite as cut and dried as we would wish. The day to day grind takes more than a catchy tune and a smile to make it through.
As I look at those words, "Yes, I'm still here" through a depressed mope I saw a different perspective, as though a light went on. What if I looked at those words as though God were speaking them over me? Guess what? He does. Every moment. Every single day. He spoke them very clearly over me the other day as I was praying with a friend. "YES, THE I AM IS STILL HERE." His resurrection power hasn't changed. God isn't hiding. God isn't playing a cruel game of hide and seek or "Let's see if she can find her way out of this one!" God wants us not only to have Him, He wants us to be completely and utterly dependent on Him. You know when that happens best? When we are in the dark valley with no clue, no answers, no help OTHER THAN THE ALMIGHTY, FULL OF POWER, BATTLE WINNING!! GOD.
I read the story of David and Goliath this morning. A couple things stuck out to me that had not ever before. The fact that, "For FORTY DAYS, every morning AND evening, the Philistine champion strutted in front of the Israelite army" (1 Sam 17:16) What? Forty days? I can relate to that. How many days and nights have I let my enemies taunt me? Five days, five weeks? I love what David says...rather what David proclaims, "WHO IS THIS PAGAN PHILISTINE ANYWAY, THAT HE IS ALLOWED TO DEFY THE ARMIES OF THE LIVING GOD?" Today I proclaim with David, "Who are these struggles or circumstances or emotions that I have allowed to defy the army of the living God!!" I proclaim again, "Who are you to defy the army of the living God!!!!" I have visions of myself with my son's three year old sunday school class marching and singing, "We are in the Lord's army!"
David goes on to say, "I'll go fight him." I tell myself as much as I say emphatically to you, we must fight. Will you go and fight? God will arm you if you choose to fight! We don't wage war as the world does. Saul tried to give David his weapons to fight Goliath. But David says, "I'm not used to the[se]" (vs 39). He then tells Goliath, "You come to me with sword, spear and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven's Armies - the God of the armies of Isreal, whom you have defied" (vs 45). We must not try to fight our circumstances with anything less than word of God and the Name of the Lord. Verse 47 proclaims, "This is the Lord's battle, and He will give you to us!" One of my favorite descriptions of the Lord is Him as a Warrior. He has won the victory. We have the victory but keeping it is a full time job. Not a job to be completed in our own strength but a battle of keeping ourselves constantly before the Lord and constantly keeping HIS PERSPECTIVE. NOT, "Yes, I'm still here in this dark, lonely valley." BUT "Yes, I AM is still here and I am going to keep running to His open arms." The living God that was and is and is to come is still with me.
Lord, as I begin this day, I pray that I would not have a limited perspective. Help me to see my circumstances for what they are, mere shadows under the feet of a giant God. Help me Lord to exercise my faith in my circumstances. You have given me Your Name and Your Word to proclaim in the battle, help me to use them. I say by faith to my enemies today, "Who are you anyway, that I have allowed you to defy a daughter of the King?" I know who I am in you Lord and I shout it out this morning. I have been bought with a price. Loneliness you must flee. Depression, you have no power over me today. Sadness, you are replaced with the joy of God and the peace that I have in Him. I have the victory today, in Jesus name. I've got the victory. I will stand in victory and I will move through the valley with my Warrior God leading me every step of the way. I am an overcomer and I will enjoy a banquet in the presence of my enemies. I will no longer allow my enemy to taunt me, because I know who I am in I AM!!!! Forgive me Lord for giving up. Giving up is not a choice in this army...because that is when we will be defeated!! "I'll go fight!"
If you have not yet read any excerpts from Streams in the Desert I highly encourage you. It is a great devotional. May you find streams of living water bubbling up in your dry place today!
Friday, June 30, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Temper Tantrums
Oh boy. Temper tantrums are my least favorite thing to deal with as a mother. I have tried every solution that I or any of my peers can think of to bring relief from the nasty things. I so wish that there was a vaccination for temper tantrums. I have even purchased books on the matter including, Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours (Too bad I already lost mine) and Tempering Your Child's Tantrums (My kids are still WILD animals!). I don't know about you but it seems like I read the books and think, "Now that's a great idea, I will have to try that," and then 2 weeks later I find myself searching for the book because the steps just aren't working like they used to. I think to myself, "Surely I must have missed something."
Tantrums are no respecter of children. They hit girls and boys, 5 year olds and 3 year olds alike. I am told that tantrums even rear their ugly heads in teenagers! Good grief. That is exactly what I say when one of my kids begins with one. It is usually when I am in the middle of a grocery store with a cart load of groceries, melting ice cream and lukewarm meat. Of course I have to be on the fullest aisle in the whole store when one of my kids breaks down. I am in a hurry to pay for my groceries and my son is on the floor screaming his head of while I am crouched over him trying to reason with him. Dr. Dobson would surely have some things to say to me! There have been many times where I am tempted to just leave the whole dumb cart on that aisle and take my kids to the car. The drive home would be filled with my tears of frustration and a pit stop to the drive thru Starbucks. Goodness sakes.
My son's most recent tantrum, yes they happen quite often, was prefaced by a frustrating situation that just fueled the fire for both of us. My son is in the last stages, (oh please let it be), of potty training. This has been an extremely trying time for me as my daughter didn't seem to beat around the bush with potty training. My son feels as though he has to pee every 5 minutes. So of course I rush him to the potty because I am sick and tired of scrubbing it out of my carpet. Let's hope the next owners of this house don't have one of those black lights that detect cat pee because there would be a kid pee mosaic to be found. Anyway, I was tired, had a sore throat and my son was sitting on the potty laughing and yes I am sorry to say it, just playing in every aspect of the word. This was the third time in ten minutes he was on the potty demanding that he had to go. I finally got him down and washed his hands. He wanted an M&M for trying. (Maybe that is the answer to the frequency of his urinary urges...M&Ms). I told him to open his mouth because he has already stained my microfiber couch with blue dye from a prior M&M...whoever thought of the slogan 'melts in your mouth not in your hands' needs severe punishment. I put the candy in his mouth and thus began the tantrum. He wanted to put it in his mouth himself. So, he spit out the red M&M and it tumbled down my blouse, all over his shorts and onto the floor. He began crying and I briskly put him down. He continued his scream of, "I wanted to do it." Thank you son, I know that now. The tantrum continued.
I am going to be completely transparent with you. I would like to tell you that I quietly walked away after informing my son that his behavior was inappropriate. Nope. Much to my children's dismay I threw my own tantrum. I stamped in place, screamed, cried and I am embarrassed to say, I even threw the M&M across the kitchen. Talk about a tantrum. I threw the granddaddy of them all. I was a horrible example, a hypocrite and an ungodly mother all in a matter of seconds. I don't know why I thought that it would make me feel better because all it did was give me a headache, more cleanup, a lot of explaining and load of repenting. I cleaned up right away but I hesitated in my confession out of shame. What kind of mother was I?
I am thankful for Romans 3:23 that says, "For everyone has sinned; (mothers included) we all fall short of God's glorious standard." You can say that again. I not only fell short, I missed the target completely. I am thankful that the Lord helped me to get up and go to my kids to talk. I apologized and asked for their forgiveness. Maybe after seeing their mother act like such an ape they will think twice before their next tantrum. I am not sure that any psychologist would buy that story, but if it works I'll write my own tantrum book. :)
Tantrums are no respecter of children. They hit girls and boys, 5 year olds and 3 year olds alike. I am told that tantrums even rear their ugly heads in teenagers! Good grief. That is exactly what I say when one of my kids begins with one. It is usually when I am in the middle of a grocery store with a cart load of groceries, melting ice cream and lukewarm meat. Of course I have to be on the fullest aisle in the whole store when one of my kids breaks down. I am in a hurry to pay for my groceries and my son is on the floor screaming his head of while I am crouched over him trying to reason with him. Dr. Dobson would surely have some things to say to me! There have been many times where I am tempted to just leave the whole dumb cart on that aisle and take my kids to the car. The drive home would be filled with my tears of frustration and a pit stop to the drive thru Starbucks. Goodness sakes.
My son's most recent tantrum, yes they happen quite often, was prefaced by a frustrating situation that just fueled the fire for both of us. My son is in the last stages, (oh please let it be), of potty training. This has been an extremely trying time for me as my daughter didn't seem to beat around the bush with potty training. My son feels as though he has to pee every 5 minutes. So of course I rush him to the potty because I am sick and tired of scrubbing it out of my carpet. Let's hope the next owners of this house don't have one of those black lights that detect cat pee because there would be a kid pee mosaic to be found. Anyway, I was tired, had a sore throat and my son was sitting on the potty laughing and yes I am sorry to say it, just playing in every aspect of the word. This was the third time in ten minutes he was on the potty demanding that he had to go. I finally got him down and washed his hands. He wanted an M&M for trying. (Maybe that is the answer to the frequency of his urinary urges...M&Ms). I told him to open his mouth because he has already stained my microfiber couch with blue dye from a prior M&M...whoever thought of the slogan 'melts in your mouth not in your hands' needs severe punishment. I put the candy in his mouth and thus began the tantrum. He wanted to put it in his mouth himself. So, he spit out the red M&M and it tumbled down my blouse, all over his shorts and onto the floor. He began crying and I briskly put him down. He continued his scream of, "I wanted to do it." Thank you son, I know that now. The tantrum continued.
I am going to be completely transparent with you. I would like to tell you that I quietly walked away after informing my son that his behavior was inappropriate. Nope. Much to my children's dismay I threw my own tantrum. I stamped in place, screamed, cried and I am embarrassed to say, I even threw the M&M across the kitchen. Talk about a tantrum. I threw the granddaddy of them all. I was a horrible example, a hypocrite and an ungodly mother all in a matter of seconds. I don't know why I thought that it would make me feel better because all it did was give me a headache, more cleanup, a lot of explaining and load of repenting. I cleaned up right away but I hesitated in my confession out of shame. What kind of mother was I?
I am thankful for Romans 3:23 that says, "For everyone has sinned; (mothers included) we all fall short of God's glorious standard." You can say that again. I not only fell short, I missed the target completely. I am thankful that the Lord helped me to get up and go to my kids to talk. I apologized and asked for their forgiveness. Maybe after seeing their mother act like such an ape they will think twice before their next tantrum. I am not sure that any psychologist would buy that story, but if it works I'll write my own tantrum book. :)
Friday, June 16, 2006
Shoe Shopping
Shoe shopping is right up there with teeth pulling in my book. Now shopping for shoes for me is fun and enjoyable. Shopping for kid's shoes, now that's a different story. Both my kids needed new tennis shoes and new sandals. Both kids were getting blisters on their toes and putting on the tennis shoes was requiring more elbow grease than before, so I could not delay the inevitable.
Even when I bring reinforcements, i.e. daddy, shoe shopping is still nothing short of a crazy, gut wrenching experience. Now, on this particular occasion, I had both of the kid's strapped into their double stroller. This stroller has definitely seen better days. Besides the coffee stains, juice stains, cookie crumbs, goldfish remnants, rips, dirt, suntan lotion and overall wear, this thing is in great shape. Well, really it looks like I just picked it up from the local garage sale, but it still serves its purpose in that I can buckle my kids in. This is such a great thing when your kids are able to buckle themselves in but unable to unbuckle! Anyway, I entered the carpeted shoe isle and began the search for the measuring device.
Now, some places have those metal contraptions that measure your kid's feet with relative accuracy. But most places have these old red carpets with foot prints on them. These thing are disgusting in that they are usually so dirty one must get their face within inches in order to make out the sizes. My kids usually think these mats are a great place to sit or lay down much to their mother's demise. But if I can get my child to actually stand and place their foot on the footprint without wiggling or looking around or slouching it is miraculous. I managed to measure my son's foot and then I measured my daughter's. Of course I made the mistake of not strapping my son in again while I worked with my daughter. He was off taking shoes out of boxes, laying on the floor to look under the racks and racing from one end of the aisle to the other as if it were a track. After I had a vague idea of sizes, I instructed my daughter to get in her seat while I chased my son down. You can guess how much my son wanted to be strapped back into his stroller after he had just tasted freedom. After much kicking and screaming I managed to bribe him back into calm serenity (yeah right) for at least the 30 seconds it would take to begin the search for shoes. It is great when daddy is there to give the look when needed. So daddy gave the look and the tantrum stopped momentarily.
As I began to look my daughter shouts, "How about those shoes. I want those. Those are so cute!" She would be referring to the ugliest shoes on the rack of course. Some pink numbers with blue dogs and multicolored ties. "No, mommy wants to find some different ones honey." Then come the tears, "But they are my shoes!" I respond, "Yes, but mommy is paying for them, so she gets to pick." I realize this excuse will only work for a few more years! After finding an acceptable pair the Cinderella scenario begins. This is where I desperately try to fit the shoe on my daughter's foot. Of course the size carpet was no help in determining the proper size for my daughter. It usually happens that one size is too small and one too big and the size that we need the store doesn't carry. My dilemma is always, "Do we buy a shoe that could stretch or one that the foot could grow into?" Most of the time my daughter will not stand for anything less than the perfect fit. Good for her, bad for mommy.
"Let's try to find some shoes for your brother," is my response to the stress of not being able to find a shoe for my daughter. My husband pushes the stroller to the next aisle and I begin the search for cute boy's shoes. I find a great pair and then cringe as I must remove my son from his strapped in state. Of course he cries as I remove his current pair of shoes like he will never see them again. With both my husband and I reassuring my son that trying on shoes will only last a minute, he calms down. I barely get the shoes onto my son when he is running his 50 yard dash again with shoes on his feet that are tied together. Why do they do that? I realize my son is a good reason to tie shoes together in a store because I have seen how quickly he can remove shoes from boxes and place them somewhere else! Before I can warn my son that his shoes are tied together he has done a face plant into the carpet. Tears and screaming commence once again. "I want my old shoes," he cries. Of course, in his mind, the new shoes will always make him trip. He doesn't understand that mommy will cut that dumb piece of elastic off when we get home. Now trying to convince my son to stand up straight so that mommy can feel his toes in his shoes while he is screaming is no easy task. But if I were to wait until the screaming stopped my son would have the shoes off of his feet. I try to get my son to wiggle his toes but I have found that preschoolers don't really grasp this concept. The shoes don't seem to be too big or too small but as any mother knows it isn't until the shoes have been worn 3 times and walked through a mud puddle that we realize the shoes are clearly not the proper size. Ugh. I get my son back into his stroller, correction, I give into my son's tantrum about walking, so that we could end this whole ugly process. I decide that the shoes would do and that we would have to shop elsewhere for my daughter. For what reason, I do not know because it would be much easier to drag out a horrible incident once with daddy as reinforcements instead of repeating it without daddy several times over several days. But, mommy has had enough. So I push the stroller with my daughter and my husband heards my son towards the checkout. Mission sort of accomplished. One pair down, three to go. One child calm, one to go. One parent sane, one to go.
I don't know why shoe shopping is so stressful. I just wish sometimes that feet grew consistently with age and there was only one size for each age. I could pick the cute shoe in my child's size and toss them in the stroller without this whole ordeal of in and out of the stroller, standing up straight so mommy can feel your toe stuff. I never really know what I am feeling for anyway! My life is so full of guessing. As a mom, it seems like I have to guess a lot. A lot of mothering is simply listening to your gut which I would say is listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 3:6 says, "Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." I just attended a class at our church on Wednesday night on hearing from God. The teacher made the comment that if you have prayed about something and you are not hearing clearly from God, do what you think is best and God will correct you if you are not headed in the right direction. As long as I am seeking God and heading in the direction that I feel is the correct one, God is going to get me to the right place. If my children trust me, I can help them find shoes that fits them properly. If we don't truly seek God, however, we end up wandering around with our feet tied together and all scrunched up in shoes that are too small. One of my biggest life challenges is to seek God in everything and then listen when I feel that nudge that I am not where I am suppose to be. Have you ever sensed that, "Nope. Not over there. Come over here." The tough bit is when we think in our limited perspective that the over there is better than the over here. A lot of times we just can't see how the over here will work, until we by faith take steps into what God has prepared for us. Just like my son can't fathom how shoes that are tied together and make him fall will work, we can't seem to see to the other side of what God is bringing us to. God wants us in wide open spaces or in my translation, God has designed us for shoes that fit. He doesn't want us to settle for shoes that are too small or shoes that are all worn out. He has specific plans tailor made for us. So what is it that you feel God is speaking to you? If you aren't sure with all certainty simply begin to make your way towards what you feel is the right direction and God will take it from there! I am thankful for a God who loves us enough to let us make choices. Don't just stand still and do nothing. Take some steps as you seek the Lord and He truly will direct your steps.
Even when I bring reinforcements, i.e. daddy, shoe shopping is still nothing short of a crazy, gut wrenching experience. Now, on this particular occasion, I had both of the kid's strapped into their double stroller. This stroller has definitely seen better days. Besides the coffee stains, juice stains, cookie crumbs, goldfish remnants, rips, dirt, suntan lotion and overall wear, this thing is in great shape. Well, really it looks like I just picked it up from the local garage sale, but it still serves its purpose in that I can buckle my kids in. This is such a great thing when your kids are able to buckle themselves in but unable to unbuckle! Anyway, I entered the carpeted shoe isle and began the search for the measuring device.
Now, some places have those metal contraptions that measure your kid's feet with relative accuracy. But most places have these old red carpets with foot prints on them. These thing are disgusting in that they are usually so dirty one must get their face within inches in order to make out the sizes. My kids usually think these mats are a great place to sit or lay down much to their mother's demise. But if I can get my child to actually stand and place their foot on the footprint without wiggling or looking around or slouching it is miraculous. I managed to measure my son's foot and then I measured my daughter's. Of course I made the mistake of not strapping my son in again while I worked with my daughter. He was off taking shoes out of boxes, laying on the floor to look under the racks and racing from one end of the aisle to the other as if it were a track. After I had a vague idea of sizes, I instructed my daughter to get in her seat while I chased my son down. You can guess how much my son wanted to be strapped back into his stroller after he had just tasted freedom. After much kicking and screaming I managed to bribe him back into calm serenity (yeah right) for at least the 30 seconds it would take to begin the search for shoes. It is great when daddy is there to give the look when needed. So daddy gave the look and the tantrum stopped momentarily.
As I began to look my daughter shouts, "How about those shoes. I want those. Those are so cute!" She would be referring to the ugliest shoes on the rack of course. Some pink numbers with blue dogs and multicolored ties. "No, mommy wants to find some different ones honey." Then come the tears, "But they are my shoes!" I respond, "Yes, but mommy is paying for them, so she gets to pick." I realize this excuse will only work for a few more years! After finding an acceptable pair the Cinderella scenario begins. This is where I desperately try to fit the shoe on my daughter's foot. Of course the size carpet was no help in determining the proper size for my daughter. It usually happens that one size is too small and one too big and the size that we need the store doesn't carry. My dilemma is always, "Do we buy a shoe that could stretch or one that the foot could grow into?" Most of the time my daughter will not stand for anything less than the perfect fit. Good for her, bad for mommy.
"Let's try to find some shoes for your brother," is my response to the stress of not being able to find a shoe for my daughter. My husband pushes the stroller to the next aisle and I begin the search for cute boy's shoes. I find a great pair and then cringe as I must remove my son from his strapped in state. Of course he cries as I remove his current pair of shoes like he will never see them again. With both my husband and I reassuring my son that trying on shoes will only last a minute, he calms down. I barely get the shoes onto my son when he is running his 50 yard dash again with shoes on his feet that are tied together. Why do they do that? I realize my son is a good reason to tie shoes together in a store because I have seen how quickly he can remove shoes from boxes and place them somewhere else! Before I can warn my son that his shoes are tied together he has done a face plant into the carpet. Tears and screaming commence once again. "I want my old shoes," he cries. Of course, in his mind, the new shoes will always make him trip. He doesn't understand that mommy will cut that dumb piece of elastic off when we get home. Now trying to convince my son to stand up straight so that mommy can feel his toes in his shoes while he is screaming is no easy task. But if I were to wait until the screaming stopped my son would have the shoes off of his feet. I try to get my son to wiggle his toes but I have found that preschoolers don't really grasp this concept. The shoes don't seem to be too big or too small but as any mother knows it isn't until the shoes have been worn 3 times and walked through a mud puddle that we realize the shoes are clearly not the proper size. Ugh. I get my son back into his stroller, correction, I give into my son's tantrum about walking, so that we could end this whole ugly process. I decide that the shoes would do and that we would have to shop elsewhere for my daughter. For what reason, I do not know because it would be much easier to drag out a horrible incident once with daddy as reinforcements instead of repeating it without daddy several times over several days. But, mommy has had enough. So I push the stroller with my daughter and my husband heards my son towards the checkout. Mission sort of accomplished. One pair down, three to go. One child calm, one to go. One parent sane, one to go.
I don't know why shoe shopping is so stressful. I just wish sometimes that feet grew consistently with age and there was only one size for each age. I could pick the cute shoe in my child's size and toss them in the stroller without this whole ordeal of in and out of the stroller, standing up straight so mommy can feel your toe stuff. I never really know what I am feeling for anyway! My life is so full of guessing. As a mom, it seems like I have to guess a lot. A lot of mothering is simply listening to your gut which I would say is listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit.
Proverbs 3:6 says, "Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." I just attended a class at our church on Wednesday night on hearing from God. The teacher made the comment that if you have prayed about something and you are not hearing clearly from God, do what you think is best and God will correct you if you are not headed in the right direction. As long as I am seeking God and heading in the direction that I feel is the correct one, God is going to get me to the right place. If my children trust me, I can help them find shoes that fits them properly. If we don't truly seek God, however, we end up wandering around with our feet tied together and all scrunched up in shoes that are too small. One of my biggest life challenges is to seek God in everything and then listen when I feel that nudge that I am not where I am suppose to be. Have you ever sensed that, "Nope. Not over there. Come over here." The tough bit is when we think in our limited perspective that the over there is better than the over here. A lot of times we just can't see how the over here will work, until we by faith take steps into what God has prepared for us. Just like my son can't fathom how shoes that are tied together and make him fall will work, we can't seem to see to the other side of what God is bringing us to. God wants us in wide open spaces or in my translation, God has designed us for shoes that fit. He doesn't want us to settle for shoes that are too small or shoes that are all worn out. He has specific plans tailor made for us. So what is it that you feel God is speaking to you? If you aren't sure with all certainty simply begin to make your way towards what you feel is the right direction and God will take it from there! I am thankful for a God who loves us enough to let us make choices. Don't just stand still and do nothing. Take some steps as you seek the Lord and He truly will direct your steps.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
I can't
Oh the greatest words in the English vocabulary..."I can't." I usually hear these words when I have told my kids to clean up before we go to bed. For some unknown reason, the mess that seemed to be easy to make is too hard to clean up. I am not quite sure how the toys become heavier between the time my kids play with them and the time when they are to be put away. One of those crazy anomalies. My children usually lose their ability to raise and lower their arms or the ability to bend at the waist when I have proclaimed that it is clean up time. "Wait a minute, you were just running around playing killer dog from Mars and now you can't stand up because your lower back hurts?" Good grief.
But wait. Not so fast. I have found a way to conquer the "I can't" scenario with my kid's toys. I have devised a plan that says the kids pick up the same number of toys as they are old. For example, my 5 year old is to pick up 5 toys before we go to bed. My kids agreed to this scenario and hardly gave me a fight when I informed them of the new rule. Wow. I have this mothering thing down.
Silly me. Kids are clever. My daughter has an uncanny skill of selecting 1 toy that has 5 parts to put away. For example, a puzzle or Mr. Potato head. She will pick up only 5 pieces of the puzzle or only 5 parts to the potato. But guess what? She has done what I proposed that we do. She has listened. Okay, back to the drawing board for me. It is so frustrating because I want my kids to clean up after themselves but it really goes much more quickly and neatly when I just do it for them. But then, I don't want to clean up after them until they are 18. And I don't want to be responsible for their frustrated spouses who don't understand why they don't know how to clean up! Okay, I know. I have taken it a bit too far so...back to the "I can't" scenario.
My daughter has just discovered the monkey bars at the park. She loves to have me watch her as she tries to make her way from one end to the other. I use the word "tries" because she hasn't actually made it all the way across yet. She begins and then ends up saying, "I can't." I then tell her, "You can do it. Try again." Tonight she was particularly down on herself for not being able to do it. The monkey bars are short, but taller than her, and sort of enclosed by other structures. I wanted to get in and help her. I told her to climb out so that mommy could get in with her. I climbed through the opening definitely not designed for mothers and got on my hands and knees in the dirt. I told her to climb up to the start and I would help her. She immediately said, "You're not going to hold my knees are you?" That was my plan so what now? I told her, "Well, no, but I will be right here next to you telling you that you can do it." I would like to tell you that she made it across just because I was there giving her my best hoorah. She did make it further than normal and as she began to fall I caught her. She reached her hands back up and I held her knees so that she could finish making it across. I cheered for her and told her, "You did it, you did it." She smiled and ran across the playground to do something else. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get out from under the structure without throwing out my back.
I learned something from my daughter tonight. So many times I have found myself in a situation where I was frustrated because I just couldn't do something. Unlike my daughter, I wanted someone to do it for me. Okay, I will be transparent. There are times as a pastor's wife and mother of a preschooler where I think I just won't make it. I will never make it across because I have fallen so many times. It would be easier to drop to the ground and say "I can't" do it. Someone else will have to step in because I quit. The sad thing is, I have said it more often than not. The enemy has had a field day with me. I knew that my daughter needed some encouragement. She didn't want me to do the monkey bars for her, and I couldn't do it for her. I could show her how to cross the monkey bars, I could cheer her on, but I couldn't make her arms do the work for her. My daughter needed the encouragement to keep practicing. Her arms will continue to grow strong and before she knows it the monkey bars will be old news and the ringers will be what it is all about.
You see, I think some times as Christians we want God to come and rescue us and do the hard stuff for us. We want someone to hold our knees so we can cross over or better yet we want someone else to take our place so we can just go rest. But when we have someone doing the tough stuff for us our arms never get stronger. God so desires that we grow that He will continue to put us in situations that require perseverance. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that God does carry us through tough times, but sometimes He has some teaching to do before He picks us up. Picture again my situation with my daughter. She needed to get the hang of the monkey bars by putting herself out there by faith and after she gained some much needed confidence I was there to grab her before she fell. God is close. I believe that He crouches down in the playground of our lives and cheers us on. He tells us that we can do it and reminds us that He won't leave us. And then as we trust Him and take a step towards Him, He uses His strength to carry us the rest of the way. Philippians 4:13 in the amplified bible says, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]." Oh I love that. "I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency." The scripture doesn't say, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who takes over for me so I don't have to do anything difficult." That would be nice, but then we would be lazy weaklings. God wants an army! He is a warrior and he trains His children as such. After all, we are in a war and life really doesn't happen on a playground. I know that sometimes I whine and complain and cry about how difficult things are and how "I can't." God says, "Oh really. Stand on up my child and try it and I will be here directing your steps. I can give you strength, but only if you don't give up before I have a chance to catch you. Now I will strengthen your feeble arms, but you must do the reaching up."
Lord, continue to help me to persevere. There have been so many times of late where I just want to crumble under the trial. I have had a poor attitude about the opportunity to grow and I ask for your forgiveness and grace, God. Thank you that you never give up on me or leave me hanging. Thanks for getting down in the dirt with me and showing me how to make it while you sing over me Your sweet song of love. "I AM sufficient in your sufficiency."
But wait. Not so fast. I have found a way to conquer the "I can't" scenario with my kid's toys. I have devised a plan that says the kids pick up the same number of toys as they are old. For example, my 5 year old is to pick up 5 toys before we go to bed. My kids agreed to this scenario and hardly gave me a fight when I informed them of the new rule. Wow. I have this mothering thing down.
Silly me. Kids are clever. My daughter has an uncanny skill of selecting 1 toy that has 5 parts to put away. For example, a puzzle or Mr. Potato head. She will pick up only 5 pieces of the puzzle or only 5 parts to the potato. But guess what? She has done what I proposed that we do. She has listened. Okay, back to the drawing board for me. It is so frustrating because I want my kids to clean up after themselves but it really goes much more quickly and neatly when I just do it for them. But then, I don't want to clean up after them until they are 18. And I don't want to be responsible for their frustrated spouses who don't understand why they don't know how to clean up! Okay, I know. I have taken it a bit too far so...back to the "I can't" scenario.
My daughter has just discovered the monkey bars at the park. She loves to have me watch her as she tries to make her way from one end to the other. I use the word "tries" because she hasn't actually made it all the way across yet. She begins and then ends up saying, "I can't." I then tell her, "You can do it. Try again." Tonight she was particularly down on herself for not being able to do it. The monkey bars are short, but taller than her, and sort of enclosed by other structures. I wanted to get in and help her. I told her to climb out so that mommy could get in with her. I climbed through the opening definitely not designed for mothers and got on my hands and knees in the dirt. I told her to climb up to the start and I would help her. She immediately said, "You're not going to hold my knees are you?" That was my plan so what now? I told her, "Well, no, but I will be right here next to you telling you that you can do it." I would like to tell you that she made it across just because I was there giving her my best hoorah. She did make it further than normal and as she began to fall I caught her. She reached her hands back up and I held her knees so that she could finish making it across. I cheered for her and told her, "You did it, you did it." She smiled and ran across the playground to do something else. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get out from under the structure without throwing out my back.
I learned something from my daughter tonight. So many times I have found myself in a situation where I was frustrated because I just couldn't do something. Unlike my daughter, I wanted someone to do it for me. Okay, I will be transparent. There are times as a pastor's wife and mother of a preschooler where I think I just won't make it. I will never make it across because I have fallen so many times. It would be easier to drop to the ground and say "I can't" do it. Someone else will have to step in because I quit. The sad thing is, I have said it more often than not. The enemy has had a field day with me. I knew that my daughter needed some encouragement. She didn't want me to do the monkey bars for her, and I couldn't do it for her. I could show her how to cross the monkey bars, I could cheer her on, but I couldn't make her arms do the work for her. My daughter needed the encouragement to keep practicing. Her arms will continue to grow strong and before she knows it the monkey bars will be old news and the ringers will be what it is all about.
You see, I think some times as Christians we want God to come and rescue us and do the hard stuff for us. We want someone to hold our knees so we can cross over or better yet we want someone else to take our place so we can just go rest. But when we have someone doing the tough stuff for us our arms never get stronger. God so desires that we grow that He will continue to put us in situations that require perseverance. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that God does carry us through tough times, but sometimes He has some teaching to do before He picks us up. Picture again my situation with my daughter. She needed to get the hang of the monkey bars by putting herself out there by faith and after she gained some much needed confidence I was there to grab her before she fell. God is close. I believe that He crouches down in the playground of our lives and cheers us on. He tells us that we can do it and reminds us that He won't leave us. And then as we trust Him and take a step towards Him, He uses His strength to carry us the rest of the way. Philippians 4:13 in the amplified bible says, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]." Oh I love that. "I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency." The scripture doesn't say, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who takes over for me so I don't have to do anything difficult." That would be nice, but then we would be lazy weaklings. God wants an army! He is a warrior and he trains His children as such. After all, we are in a war and life really doesn't happen on a playground. I know that sometimes I whine and complain and cry about how difficult things are and how "I can't." God says, "Oh really. Stand on up my child and try it and I will be here directing your steps. I can give you strength, but only if you don't give up before I have a chance to catch you. Now I will strengthen your feeble arms, but you must do the reaching up."
Lord, continue to help me to persevere. There have been so many times of late where I just want to crumble under the trial. I have had a poor attitude about the opportunity to grow and I ask for your forgiveness and grace, God. Thank you that you never give up on me or leave me hanging. Thanks for getting down in the dirt with me and showing me how to make it while you sing over me Your sweet song of love. "I AM sufficient in your sufficiency."
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Sweets
I always claimed that I would not be the type of mother who allowed my children to have a lot of sweets. I have now decided that I would not be the type of mother who lets her children eat sweets all day long. Some days are better than others! I have a natural sweet tooth and I guess that gene has been passed along to my kids. I can't really blame them for craving sugar. It is really my fault. I grew up with dessert after every meal. I have heard of kids who crave carrots or who prefer a nice crisp apple to a cookie. I think it is a result of brainwashing. Just kidding, I think I am just jealous!
We have tried to put a healthy spin on treats around here. I buy whole grain cookies and applesauce with no sugar. Unfortunately my kids just don't like the taste. I buy plain old cheerios and end up adding more sugar than if I just let my kids buy chocolate covered cocoa crunch. Which, by the way, I think their grandpa would like for breakfast! I would love it if my kids would enjoy carob chip cookies. However, I can't even stomach carob unless I give myself a half hour pep talk about the benefits of carob and how much better it is for me. Carob, if you have not tried it, is nothing even remotely similar to chocolate. Looks are deceiving. I understand that both cocoa and carob come from beans. But these beans are definitely not from the same tree. I don't think the trees are even in the same forest. Carob has a very distinct flavor and texture. It is said, though, that carob helps ease bacterial diarrhea. You definitely can't say that about chocolate. (ha ha) I bet treats don't sound so great now, do they?
I have found that, like anything else, introducing healthier options to my kids isn't something that causes an instant change in their behavior. I have to keep offering healthier choices. I have also found balance in this. Sometimes a crispy cream doughnut with a glass of milk is a perfectly acceptable dinner. Some of you moms might disagree, but in our house sometimes easy is the way to go. This philosophy stops at the dinner table, though.
I have been so challenged in the last couple weeks and days that 'eating fluff' spiritually really just won't cut it. Opening God's word and reading it like I was reading my kids their bedtime story won't satisfy my appetite for spiritual things. Eating well is difficult at times. During those times, if we give up and start eating what ever we want whenever we want we will feel sluggish and irritable. You can probably guess the implications here. I have grown tired of living on sweets. God has been challenging me to truly seek Him; to stop trying to add sugar to His word to make it easier to take. Somtimes we just need to grow up and swallow the tough stuff. I read Psalm 22:26 this morning and it reads like this in the amplified, "The poor and afflicted shall eat and be satisfied; they shall praise the Lord- they who [diligently] seek for, inquire of and for Him, and require Him [as their greatest need]. May your hearts be quickened now and forever!" Can I say will full assurance that I am diligently seeking Him in my minutes of devotion? Is He my greatest need? The issue here is not the quantity of time we spend, but the quality. I am so thankful that God looks at our hearts. Don't fall into the trap of comparing your quiet time with someone else's. God wants us to focus our attention on Him. Are we feeling satisfied when we come away from our devotions?
I was feeling challenged too about having the mind of Christ. I can't share His thoughts if I am not in constant contact with Him. Oh Lord, forgive my for my spiritual apathy. Forgive me for being lazy and lukewarm. I know that if I am not on top of it spiritually that I lay myself open for the enemy to penetrate. Help me Lord. Help me to reprioritize. Help me to crave meat and not be content with milk. Reinvigorated me Lord. I am desperate for you. I need more of you. Help me not to settle, Lord.
I once heard a pastor preach that if you are not "growing daily you are dying gradually." My daughter sings a cute song that goes like this, "Read your bible and pray everyday and you grow, grow, grow. Don't read your bible and pray everyday then you shrink, shrink shrink." I want to model this for my children. I long to see them delve into God's word and get into His presence with vigor. Not for me, not out of obligation but out of a desperate love for a personal savior. My prayer for them as well as for me is that I would eat for the marathon and not for the 100 yard dash. If I am going to make it, I need the sustenance.
We have tried to put a healthy spin on treats around here. I buy whole grain cookies and applesauce with no sugar. Unfortunately my kids just don't like the taste. I buy plain old cheerios and end up adding more sugar than if I just let my kids buy chocolate covered cocoa crunch. Which, by the way, I think their grandpa would like for breakfast! I would love it if my kids would enjoy carob chip cookies. However, I can't even stomach carob unless I give myself a half hour pep talk about the benefits of carob and how much better it is for me. Carob, if you have not tried it, is nothing even remotely similar to chocolate. Looks are deceiving. I understand that both cocoa and carob come from beans. But these beans are definitely not from the same tree. I don't think the trees are even in the same forest. Carob has a very distinct flavor and texture. It is said, though, that carob helps ease bacterial diarrhea. You definitely can't say that about chocolate. (ha ha) I bet treats don't sound so great now, do they?
I have found that, like anything else, introducing healthier options to my kids isn't something that causes an instant change in their behavior. I have to keep offering healthier choices. I have also found balance in this. Sometimes a crispy cream doughnut with a glass of milk is a perfectly acceptable dinner. Some of you moms might disagree, but in our house sometimes easy is the way to go. This philosophy stops at the dinner table, though.
I have been so challenged in the last couple weeks and days that 'eating fluff' spiritually really just won't cut it. Opening God's word and reading it like I was reading my kids their bedtime story won't satisfy my appetite for spiritual things. Eating well is difficult at times. During those times, if we give up and start eating what ever we want whenever we want we will feel sluggish and irritable. You can probably guess the implications here. I have grown tired of living on sweets. God has been challenging me to truly seek Him; to stop trying to add sugar to His word to make it easier to take. Somtimes we just need to grow up and swallow the tough stuff. I read Psalm 22:26 this morning and it reads like this in the amplified, "The poor and afflicted shall eat and be satisfied; they shall praise the Lord- they who [diligently] seek for, inquire of and for Him, and require Him [as their greatest need]. May your hearts be quickened now and forever!" Can I say will full assurance that I am diligently seeking Him in my minutes of devotion? Is He my greatest need? The issue here is not the quantity of time we spend, but the quality. I am so thankful that God looks at our hearts. Don't fall into the trap of comparing your quiet time with someone else's. God wants us to focus our attention on Him. Are we feeling satisfied when we come away from our devotions?
I was feeling challenged too about having the mind of Christ. I can't share His thoughts if I am not in constant contact with Him. Oh Lord, forgive my for my spiritual apathy. Forgive me for being lazy and lukewarm. I know that if I am not on top of it spiritually that I lay myself open for the enemy to penetrate. Help me Lord. Help me to reprioritize. Help me to crave meat and not be content with milk. Reinvigorated me Lord. I am desperate for you. I need more of you. Help me not to settle, Lord.
I once heard a pastor preach that if you are not "growing daily you are dying gradually." My daughter sings a cute song that goes like this, "Read your bible and pray everyday and you grow, grow, grow. Don't read your bible and pray everyday then you shrink, shrink shrink." I want to model this for my children. I long to see them delve into God's word and get into His presence with vigor. Not for me, not out of obligation but out of a desperate love for a personal savior. My prayer for them as well as for me is that I would eat for the marathon and not for the 100 yard dash. If I am going to make it, I need the sustenance.
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