New Glasses

Wow, what a beginning to the week. My sister came in town with her family on Sunday. I spent the Sabbath day cleaning, forgive me Lord, and preparing for her arrival. My children were very excited to see their cousins. I had prayed that everything would go smoothly and that we would all enjoy our time together as it was going to be awhile before we were all together again.

What happened? I wondered again about my prayer for health and the events that followed. Just hours before the much anticipated arrival my son's eyes looked a little weepy. Any mother can spot a fevery child from a mile away. I felt his head and then proceeded to take his temperature. A good old 102. Wow. Okay, what to do now?? I gave Tylenol and put my son down for his nap. He woke up with a lower fever and a lot of grumpiness.

My sister and her family arrived and my son's fever began to spike again. I don't know any mom who wants her kids around sick kids...especially when you are moving cross country with no doctor available as in the case of my sister. I did my best to keep my son to himself, much to my disappointment as my son had looked so forward to playing with his cousins.

We made it through Sunday, sort of. I woke up in the middle of the night with a very irritated eye. My eye was so blood shot that I was sure that it was pink eye. Great, another very contagious virus to try to contain. I wondered "Why now Lord??" Thoughts of my trip to Washington flooded my mind as I thought of how miserable it is to be sick when trying to absorb time with loved ones. I put drops in my eyes and we tried to head out to do something fun. My son was so miserable and pale that it was not much fun dragging him around. I was also forced to wear my glasses that were 7 or 8 years old. My prescription has changed several times since then as have the fashion trends. Needless to say, I felt awkward with my glasses and frustrated from the whole ordeal.

When we got home, I ended up using my brother-in-law's flashlight to look at my son's throat. The whole thing was covered with blisters. I decided that I should take my son to the doctor. So off I went in my glasses to the doctor. My son had a coxsackie virus...translation: a virus you never want your kids to get because it is miserable and highly contagious. I headed home and stopped off to get Popsicles to ease my son's pain. Meanwhile, my eyes ached ferociously and teared at the sun. Again, "Lord, why now?"

My sister and her family left the next morning. I ended up in the doctor's office myself. The doctor said I had come in the nick of time...the infection I had was in both eyes and just about ready to invade my cornea in one eye (i.e. not good!). I got a prescription and headed home to recuperate.

That is what I am tired of. Recuperating after a time that is suppose to be energizing. I don't understand why it seems that I can pray for one thing and the OPPOSITE seems to happen. Much needed rest and relaxation has instead been more stress, frustration and draining at best. Where does one go from here?

I went to Lenscrafters and got new glasses yesterday. I have to wear glasses until the middle of next week. I have a wedding to go to this weekend, with my new glasses and a new norm. They hurt my nose and are cumbersome but the alternative is impossible. Working out is out of the question as it is no fun to sweat with glasses on. My husband suggested a sports strap for glasses, thanks, but no thanks honey.

The Lord recently showed me that He is transplanting me from the soil that I have been rooted in, into the fertile soil of His love. This process seems like it would be all roses, right?? This transplant is a lot like my new glasses. They help me to see better than the ones I was trying to wear. They look measurable better. But the problem is that it is uncomfortable and different. Then end result is worth it: rested eyes and clear vision, but the process feels unnatural since I was so used to my contacts or old glasses. God's love is the best place to be rooted, but if you have been growing somewhere else for a long period of time, it takes diligence and flat out surrender to "remain in His love." God says in Psalm 52 that when we are rooted in His love we will be like "An Olive Tree, thriving in the house of the Lord." The Olive Tree is a long living tree and a tree that doesn't just get by, but THRIVES. My old glasses may have gotten me by, but my new glasses will get me through to the other side.

There is so much I don't understand about our God. I have so many "why" questions. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier to know everything in advance, to have time to mentally prepare. God constantly reminds me that His ways are higher than mine. My plans are from a temporal perspective. It is overwhelming for me to sometimes get to a point where I am okay with that. I want the steady Love of God to help me with my small perspective on the circumstances of life. Someday, I belive by faith that I will be able to look back from a different place and have peace about all my yesterdays. For now, I am just a newly planted flower, needing water and lots of sun.