I can't

Oh the greatest words in the English vocabulary..."I can't." I usually hear these words when I have told my kids to clean up before we go to bed. For some unknown reason, the mess that seemed to be easy to make is too hard to clean up. I am not quite sure how the toys become heavier between the time my kids play with them and the time when they are to be put away. One of those crazy anomalies. My children usually lose their ability to raise and lower their arms or the ability to bend at the waist when I have proclaimed that it is clean up time. "Wait a minute, you were just running around playing killer dog from Mars and now you can't stand up because your lower back hurts?" Good grief.

But wait. Not so fast. I have found a way to conquer the "I can't" scenario with my kid's toys. I have devised a plan that says the kids pick up the same number of toys as they are old. For example, my 5 year old is to pick up 5 toys before we go to bed. My kids agreed to this scenario and hardly gave me a fight when I informed them of the new rule. Wow. I have this mothering thing down.

Silly me. Kids are clever. My daughter has an uncanny skill of selecting 1 toy that has 5 parts to put away. For example, a puzzle or Mr. Potato head. She will pick up only 5 pieces of the puzzle or only 5 parts to the potato. But guess what? She has done what I proposed that we do. She has listened. Okay, back to the drawing board for me. It is so frustrating because I want my kids to clean up after themselves but it really goes much more quickly and neatly when I just do it for them. But then, I don't want to clean up after them until they are 18. And I don't want to be responsible for their frustrated spouses who don't understand why they don't know how to clean up! Okay, I know. I have taken it a bit too far so...back to the "I can't" scenario.

My daughter has just discovered the monkey bars at the park. She loves to have me watch her as she tries to make her way from one end to the other. I use the word "tries" because she hasn't actually made it all the way across yet. She begins and then ends up saying, "I can't." I then tell her, "You can do it. Try again." Tonight she was particularly down on herself for not being able to do it. The monkey bars are short, but taller than her, and sort of enclosed by other structures. I wanted to get in and help her. I told her to climb out so that mommy could get in with her. I climbed through the opening definitely not designed for mothers and got on my hands and knees in the dirt. I told her to climb up to the start and I would help her. She immediately said, "You're not going to hold my knees are you?" That was my plan so what now? I told her, "Well, no, but I will be right here next to you telling you that you can do it." I would like to tell you that she made it across just because I was there giving her my best hoorah. She did make it further than normal and as she began to fall I caught her. She reached her hands back up and I held her knees so that she could finish making it across. I cheered for her and told her, "You did it, you did it." She smiled and ran across the playground to do something else. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out how to get out from under the structure without throwing out my back.

I learned something from my daughter tonight. So many times I have found myself in a situation where I was frustrated because I just couldn't do something. Unlike my daughter, I wanted someone to do it for me. Okay, I will be transparent. There are times as a pastor's wife and mother of a preschooler where I think I just won't make it. I will never make it across because I have fallen so many times. It would be easier to drop to the ground and say "I can't" do it. Someone else will have to step in because I quit. The sad thing is, I have said it more often than not. The enemy has had a field day with me. I knew that my daughter needed some encouragement. She didn't want me to do the monkey bars for her, and I couldn't do it for her. I could show her how to cross the monkey bars, I could cheer her on, but I couldn't make her arms do the work for her. My daughter needed the encouragement to keep practicing. Her arms will continue to grow strong and before she knows it the monkey bars will be old news and the ringers will be what it is all about.

You see, I think some times as Christians we want God to come and rescue us and do the hard stuff for us. We want someone to hold our knees so we can cross over or better yet we want someone else to take our place so we can just go rest. But when we have someone doing the tough stuff for us our arms never get stronger. God so desires that we grow that He will continue to put us in situations that require perseverance. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that God does carry us through tough times, but sometimes He has some teaching to do before He picks us up. Picture again my situation with my daughter. She needed to get the hang of the monkey bars by putting herself out there by faith and after she gained some much needed confidence I was there to grab her before she fell. God is close. I believe that He crouches down in the playground of our lives and cheers us on. He tells us that we can do it and reminds us that He won't leave us. And then as we trust Him and take a step towards Him, He uses His strength to carry us the rest of the way. Philippians 4:13 in the amplified bible says, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]." Oh I love that. "I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency." The scripture doesn't say, "I have strength for all things in Christ Who takes over for me so I don't have to do anything difficult." That would be nice, but then we would be lazy weaklings. God wants an army! He is a warrior and he trains His children as such. After all, we are in a war and life really doesn't happen on a playground. I know that sometimes I whine and complain and cry about how difficult things are and how "I can't." God says, "Oh really. Stand on up my child and try it and I will be here directing your steps. I can give you strength, but only if you don't give up before I have a chance to catch you. Now I will strengthen your feeble arms, but you must do the reaching up."

Lord, continue to help me to persevere. There have been so many times of late where I just want to crumble under the trial. I have had a poor attitude about the opportunity to grow and I ask for your forgiveness and grace, God. Thank you that you never give up on me or leave me hanging. Thanks for getting down in the dirt with me and showing me how to make it while you sing over me Your sweet song of love. "I AM sufficient in your sufficiency."