Okay, so today I going to test the comment part of my blog...I know that I am not always good at commenting on blogs myself, but I am curious about the opinions of you moms out there.
What does being a "good" mom look like to you? Do you feel like you are a "good" mom? What characteristic do you find yourself lacking if any?
Here goes my sharing: I have battled the good mom syndrome for as long as I have had kids. I thought that a good mom spent her whole day at her children's beck and call. Now after 7 years, reality has set in. I do my best to be there for my kids but let's face it, when you are pregnant and have 2 kids already, sometimes it is all you can do to meet one need for the day.
I felt like my mom was a good mom and I don't really remember her being there every moment to entertain me. She worked all my growing up years and I spent a better part of the day with my grandparents. I still think that the time she invested was sufficient.
When I have the proper perspective, i.e. a Godly one, I feel like I am a good mom. Knowing that good can mean different things for different moms, I feel free. I am the best mom for my kids and I know that God gave them to me with this understanding. I know I am not perfect and I don't always make Godly choices in my mothering, but I feel like I am good mom to my kids. (This is written in a moment of confidence!)
I feel like sometimes I lack the nurturing spirit that I have seen in other moms. Sometimes my creativity and motherly instincts are not always in me. Sometimes I feel like I have to dig deep and find that inner mom :) if that makes any sense to anyone.
I have read way too many articles on mothering and perhaps way too many books. My heart's cry of late has been that God would show me where I need to grow as a mom that pleases Him and that, He says, is "very good."
I'd like to follow up this post with a response to your comments....if anyone is out there???
4 comments:
I guess I have never really struggled with this. I just try my best to teach them the important things- About God, loving one another, being compassionate and giving. I make sure they know they are loved. I don't worry too much about the little things like if they got the best meal or wore the appropriate clothes(Tyler hats hats and mittens). I guess I need to work on being more patient. When I mess up and am having a crabby day I hug them tell them I am sorry and then Abbey looks up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and says" It's okay mom I love you" and I know all is well in my soul and theirs.
Sara Jane,
I wish I could post to your blog... feel free to cut and paste the below into the comment section!
My definition of what a good mom looks like has certainly changed over the years. I used to think that a good mom did basically everything right. And I thought I could accomplish this... I know, delusional! But when my boys were small and relatively compliant and easy to "control", I held onto this vision of the perfect mom and went for it. The perfect mom has fun things planned throughout the day... crafts, outings, playdates. She makes fun, yummy, healthy meals. She gets lots of books from the library and reads to her kids at every opportunity. She limits television watching to occassional carefully chosen educational Christian videos. She teaches her kids Bible stories and helps them memorize scripture. She disciplines fairly and kindly and never in anger.
Fast forward to today... I feel like God has definitely humbled me from the place I started out in as a mother. These days my definition includes listening to my children, disciplining when needed, spending time with the child who needs it most, taking time for myself and for Scott and I to recharge without the kids. A good mom prays for her kids. I guess there are many more things I might list, but as I think about them, NOT doing those things wouldn't make me a bad mom, just a different one.
I'm anxious to hear other responses!
Lynne Liptak
Sara Jane!
I loved checking out your page and finding all these new posts! You always have so much insight.
You are a great MOM!!! I struggle with that complex too. Especially being a young mom. Am I mature enough? Wise enough? Firm enough? Confident enough? I care too much about how others are perceiving my response to my kids' behavior. Not a good thing!
I have also recently let myself off the hook. Knowing that there are other women that I deeply respect, who have also made mistakes or had doubts in mothering, has definitely changed my view of myself!
I am learning to be confident in the wisdom God gives me...resilient when I need to learn or change my techniques...forgive myself when I truly mess up a 'parenting situation'...and also, rely on my husband more to add his voice of reasoning and his strength of discipline to the mix, so that it's not all on my shoulders.
So, I guess ultimately, I think a good mom realizes she's not perfect, but tries to learn and grow by seeking out counsel from other trusted moms. xoxo
Sara Jane --- I'm still trying to figure this out. I just give Bella as much love and care as I possibly can and offer my time to her when I can as well.
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