Quiet Please

There have been several times in my life when I wish that I could turn back time to take something back that I said or did for that matter. It is obvious that we can't change the past, but we can definitely learn from it. We can't take back our words but we can learn to control our tongue and be quick to apologize.

I am so amazed at how much our kids truly learn from us. They are so perceptive even when we think that we can pull one over on them. I was reminiscing recently about things that my daughter has said. I can remember a time when we were peacefully driving down the road listening to worship songs when all of a sudden a car sped by. It shocked me and I said, "That car needs to slow down or they are going to end up causing an accident." My daughter immediately said, "Maybe they are late for church too mom." How does my 5 year old know that I speed on Sundays?

My kids learn not only from me, but from everything around them. I overheard my daughter playing with her dinosaurs and one was saying to the other, "Don't I look great! I have lost 53 pounds and it was so simple." Where did she hear that?! My daughter is not only extremely perceptive but she has an impeccable memory! It is difficult enough with a daughter that is too smart for my own good but one that can remember details? Lord help me. She was just telling me about how she remembers spending the night at a friend's house a year ago and how her friend's mom "picked out all the little seeds from her bread." That is another funny thing in our house. Why is it that kids won't eat a piece of hot dog if it has a little green speck on it. Or what about chips that have little colored spices on them.?My daughter has microscopic eyesight that can detect the littlest discoloration or change in texture on any piece of food! Sorry, I digress. Anyway, because of my daughter's perception and memory she has challenged me on more than one occasion.

Our weather here in Chicagoland is, well, less than desirable at least to me. The winters are long and extremely cold. We are not talking put on a coat and head outside, it is more like plan on leaving 20 minutes earlier than normal because you have to plan on putting more fabric on every square inch of exposed skin. Then when you arrive at your destination you have to take all of it off and refix the hair and make-up. I can't tell you how many times I bundled my kids up and then began to bundle myself when my daughter would say, I'm sure you can guess, "Mom, I have to go tinkle winkle!" At least she was cute when she said it. I usually close my eyes in disbelief and begin taking off my gloves, scarf, boots and then her gloves, hat and you can forget the idea of leaving her coat on. It is always "too puffy" or in the way. I am not sure how coats can affect our ability to tinkle, but my 5 year old is convinced that they do.

One of the classic episodes of this routine was a while back on what other day?? Sunday of course. The holy day. The Sabbath Day. The day when all hell breaks loose in every household with preschoolers. After church one day, I had picked up my kids from their classes and rebundled them. This is much more difficult than before church because now the kids are tired and hungry. I got my son and husband headed towards the car and then headed out the door with my daughter. We got to the car and I strapped her in while the wind was beating on my face and my daughter looked at me with her angelic face and said, "mommy, I have to go pee pee." Yep. One thing that I resist telling my 5 year old is, "Can you hold it for a bit?" After all, we spend so much time convincing them that they need to pee in the potty and they need to go now, only to come back a few years later to tell them, "You're going to have to wait." I don't normally carry around changes of clothes for my kids so I decided we had better go back into the church to avoid having a potty accident. I pulled my daughter out of her carseat and held her hand while we rushed to the door. We got into the bathroom and I took off my gloves, her gloves, her hat because it was too itchy and then her coat of course. We got in the only available stall and you know the drill with the toiletpaper. My daughter then proceeded to tell me that she didn't feel like she had to go anymore. "Ugh!" I pulled her off the toilet in a quick manner and pulled up her tights. We washed hands. We both got our coats, hats and gloves on and then started to walk back through the hall to the door. I grumbled something to my daughter about not lying to me about having to go potty. I then began to lecture her about going potty and how it is important to go when we feel like we have to go. Why did I decide to give that lecture? I am not really sure. Because you know what happened? As we got out the first set of doors my daughter says, "Mommy, I really do have to go potty." I would like to tell you that I responded in a sweet and gentle way, "No problem honey. We will just go back into the bathroom and carefully take off our coats, hats, scarves and whatever else makes you uncomfortable and we will try again. I am glad you decided you needed to go sweetheart." I think the scenario was more of a brisk scooping up of my daughter while I firmly spoke to her face, "Why do you do this? We have gone in and out of this building about 5 times already. You make me so frustrated." The removing of clothes was more of a ripping of sorts. The ginger placement of my daughter on the toilet had turned into a quick plop down without taking time to line the seat with toilet paper. I crossed my arms and stared at her in disbelief. She looked me square in the eyes and said, "I am not going to do anything, mom, until you learn to let go of your anger." At that moment I wanted to give myself a swirley in the toilet bowl. Here I am in a 2 by 2 stall with my 5 year old preaching a powerful sermon to her 'pastor's wife' mother.

God will speak to us anyway he needs to. He has used donkey's, bushes and in my case daughters. After I got over the initial shock of my daughter's words I was able to apologize and even laugh with her. Thank you Lord that you know just what we need and when we need it. In the book of James chapter 1 verse 19 in the NLT it says, "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters [and wives and mothers]: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." I am not sure that this scripture needs much interpreting. The "you must" part gets me every time. I have struggled with applying this scripture almost on a daily basis. My life is more of a "slow to listen, quick to speak and fuming before long" kind of scenario. I am so thankful that God doesn't leave us the way we are. He wants us to grow. He longs for me to rely on His strength to live out James 1:19. I know that I need more help than most, but God is faithful and His help is always available if I can unfurrow my brow and shut my mouth long enough to hear His voice. And if I don't hear Him the first time, there is always my daughter who is an extremely willing vessel.