I took a walk with my kids today as the temperatures climbed to a balmy 35 degrees. My kids insisted on running ahead, running in the snow and mud and touching the snow piles with their bare hands. I was constantly mumbling "No, please don't!" to them but they were too far away to hear the request. They would stop every now and then and make sure I was still coming. I am a bit slower these days...both physically and mentally!
It was so sweet to see my precious kids running hand in hand down the sidewalk. My daughter who runs much faster than her brother just sort of pulled him along as she ran. My son didn't seem to mind as long as he never felt like he was behind. He hates to lose, especially to his sister. I savor the moments that my children love each other because it seems like they fight now more than they laugh together.
I did catch up to my kids today, only after I hollered and demanded they stop and wait. I feel just a little bit behind like that these days. I wish I could simply holler, "Stop. Wait!" But I know it wouldn't do any good. We have so much going on and my heart is so heavy. Just as I wrote those words the Lord just dropped into my heart that the "Stop. Wait!!" times are found in His presence. It is there where we can forget about what lies ahead or behind and just fall limp into His strong arms. I've needed those arms a lot lately. This has been one of the most challenging seasons of my life.
I will not, however, trade this season for the world. I do want to be able to look back and see how I have grown. I know that I have grown more deeply in love with my amazing husband. I know that the Lord is stretching me in ways I never knew I needed to be stretched. It is kind of like what happens during pregnancy...you don't think you can possibly grow any more and then boom overnight you have. I just wish that growing in the Lord could just sort of boom, happen during the night. Usually not. Hardly ever that. Mostly seasons of perseverance for me...I think I am a slow learner. Delete. I KNOW that I am a slow learner. Thank God He is patient. Thank God he gave me a patient husband.
Lord, thank you that I can depend on you. Thank you that I can come to you with all of my burdens, all of the deepest parts of my heart and know that you are so tender, so gentle with me. Help me during this season where I constantly feel like I want life to "stop and wait." I am desperate for more of your reality. Make yourself so real to me during this time. Help me remember that You are all that I need. Help me to accept the help that you send. Help me to be a blessing to others regardless of my own circumstances. I love you precious Lord.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Friday, February 01, 2008
Loosing my brain cells and my lunch
Can you guess? Oh yes. Our family reservations are now going to be made for 5. No more two on two for this family. The children are about to outnumber us.
So far, after only nine weeks of pregnancy I have made very good friends with my toilet and my bed. Fatigue and nausea are my constant companions. I have done crazy things to boot. I have found my jar of peanut butter in a whole sink full of dirty dishes and have left the water running in the kitchen sink only to wonder what that wierd rushing water noise was. A couple days ago I actually paid for some things at a store and then left them there. My oldest child said to me, "Mom, I can't believe you just left your stuff there. I mean, how could you do that?" Well daughter, just wait until you are in you mid-thirties and have two children plus one on the way. Kids have a way of just sucking energy and sanity right out of you.
I would not trade my kids for anything. And I would not trade this pregnancy for anything. The bible says that children are a gift from the Lord and I consider myself truly blessed. I got to see my precious babies' heartbeat a week ago. The Lord is already knitting together the most perfect little one in my womb. Despite my constant throw ups and mix ups, I am desperatly humbled by God's grace and elated at the gift of life He has given to me yet again. It still seems rather surreal to me, almost too good to be true. Then I look down at my growing tummy or find myself sick and I remember how real it truly is.
What is it about early pregancy that makes you feel so fat and ugly? Maybe it's the new crop of blemishes or the fact that the only pants that fit right now are sweats?? I have tried to convince my husband that buying new makeup or getting a new haircut really do wonders for a woman's self esteem! He's coming around. What a guy! I've never felt attractive as a preganant woman. I think it has to do with the pickle/chocolate covered pretzel diet?? I just am thankful every day that there is a reason for all of this, a great reason!!
So far, after only nine weeks of pregnancy I have made very good friends with my toilet and my bed. Fatigue and nausea are my constant companions. I have done crazy things to boot. I have found my jar of peanut butter in a whole sink full of dirty dishes and have left the water running in the kitchen sink only to wonder what that wierd rushing water noise was. A couple days ago I actually paid for some things at a store and then left them there. My oldest child said to me, "Mom, I can't believe you just left your stuff there. I mean, how could you do that?" Well daughter, just wait until you are in you mid-thirties and have two children plus one on the way. Kids have a way of just sucking energy and sanity right out of you.
I would not trade my kids for anything. And I would not trade this pregnancy for anything. The bible says that children are a gift from the Lord and I consider myself truly blessed. I got to see my precious babies' heartbeat a week ago. The Lord is already knitting together the most perfect little one in my womb. Despite my constant throw ups and mix ups, I am desperatly humbled by God's grace and elated at the gift of life He has given to me yet again. It still seems rather surreal to me, almost too good to be true. Then I look down at my growing tummy or find myself sick and I remember how real it truly is.
What is it about early pregancy that makes you feel so fat and ugly? Maybe it's the new crop of blemishes or the fact that the only pants that fit right now are sweats?? I have tried to convince my husband that buying new makeup or getting a new haircut really do wonders for a woman's self esteem! He's coming around. What a guy! I've never felt attractive as a preganant woman. I think it has to do with the pickle/chocolate covered pretzel diet?? I just am thankful every day that there is a reason for all of this, a great reason!!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Fear
I struggle with fear. Just admitting it makes me feel a little better, a little stronger. I have struggled with fear for as long as I can remember. I used to be a member of the Colorado Children's Chorale as a kid. We would travel around and sing with the Denver Symphony. (That was back when I actually had confidence in my ability to sing :) ) Anyway, I can remember worrying the whole time we were performing about whether or not my parents knew where to pick me up. The Boettcher Concert Hall had many entrances and exits. There were times when they were late and I would become hysterical.
Now I am 32...I actually sat in my car this week for an extended period of time and tried to figure out how old I was. I was convinced that I was not 32, but the math just kept telling me otherwise. Anyway, I still have fear. I have read books on it, studied it and thought a lot about it. It would feel good to be free from it. Especially because it is a behavior that is copied by little watching eyes. I see my daughter becoming the little worrier that I was when I was her age.
Becoming a mother has given me a new list of things to worry about. Germs is one of those things. I see this trend in women my age...so OBSESSED about something we can't see and really can't control. I have talked to women who overuse Purel, who strip their children and shower them after school to prevent germs and women who wake their children from a nap to clean their hands because they forgot before they laid them down. Lord have mercy on us!! I include myself in this cry too!!
I am convinced that this world has taught us to sweat the small things. To control every possible thing that you can. We are taught where germs are, how to kill them, how to prevent them from spreading. We can buy germ killing Kleenex, antimicrobial lunchboxes and hand sanitizer that works for 5 hours. We may feel like we are protecting our kids but guess what?? We are actually doing them a disservice. We are creating super bugs that can't be killed by Clorox or some bugs that can't be beat with antibiotics. Yet we continue to sanitize every square inch of our lives.
In my mind, it boils down to fear. God knew that our world would be a dirty one. He isn't surprised by any virus or bug. He created our bodies in such a way that they would fight off any foreign intruder. But instead, we step in and kill the germ before our bodies have a chance to show us how incredibly remarkable they are! I want to stop worrying so much and start enjoying every minute with my kids. I want to spend less time worrying about door nobs and toilet seats. Don't get me wrong, I still want a clean house but not at the expense of my child's sanity.
Ugh. That's a load. I fear other things beside germs. God will bless me with something and I will live in fear that I will loose it. I will trust God and then not trust Him. Believe Him and then become sick with worry. I read a quote once about worry: That it is like a rocking chair, even though it moves, it doesn't take you anywhere. Lord, as I sit here, my heart heavy with a burden. Something that I have worried over more than I have trusted you, liberate me! Free me Lord. I was never meant to carry the burdens of this life. I want to believe you. I want to know you as trustworthy. Help me to know the depths of Who you are so that I can trust you completely. I know I need to give up the reigns and let you lead. How many times have I prayed this Lord? Let this be the year that I stand on top and shout out with victory. You have the power to deliver me from this fear. Fear is the opposite of Faith and you say in your word that it is faith that pleases You. I LONG to please you Lord. See my heart, meet me right where I am. I know you will, you are faithful and true. Thank you in advance for liberty. In the powerful name of Jesus I pray, AMEN.
Now I am 32...I actually sat in my car this week for an extended period of time and tried to figure out how old I was. I was convinced that I was not 32, but the math just kept telling me otherwise. Anyway, I still have fear. I have read books on it, studied it and thought a lot about it. It would feel good to be free from it. Especially because it is a behavior that is copied by little watching eyes. I see my daughter becoming the little worrier that I was when I was her age.
Becoming a mother has given me a new list of things to worry about. Germs is one of those things. I see this trend in women my age...so OBSESSED about something we can't see and really can't control. I have talked to women who overuse Purel, who strip their children and shower them after school to prevent germs and women who wake their children from a nap to clean their hands because they forgot before they laid them down. Lord have mercy on us!! I include myself in this cry too!!
I am convinced that this world has taught us to sweat the small things. To control every possible thing that you can. We are taught where germs are, how to kill them, how to prevent them from spreading. We can buy germ killing Kleenex, antimicrobial lunchboxes and hand sanitizer that works for 5 hours. We may feel like we are protecting our kids but guess what?? We are actually doing them a disservice. We are creating super bugs that can't be killed by Clorox or some bugs that can't be beat with antibiotics. Yet we continue to sanitize every square inch of our lives.
In my mind, it boils down to fear. God knew that our world would be a dirty one. He isn't surprised by any virus or bug. He created our bodies in such a way that they would fight off any foreign intruder. But instead, we step in and kill the germ before our bodies have a chance to show us how incredibly remarkable they are! I want to stop worrying so much and start enjoying every minute with my kids. I want to spend less time worrying about door nobs and toilet seats. Don't get me wrong, I still want a clean house but not at the expense of my child's sanity.
Ugh. That's a load. I fear other things beside germs. God will bless me with something and I will live in fear that I will loose it. I will trust God and then not trust Him. Believe Him and then become sick with worry. I read a quote once about worry: That it is like a rocking chair, even though it moves, it doesn't take you anywhere. Lord, as I sit here, my heart heavy with a burden. Something that I have worried over more than I have trusted you, liberate me! Free me Lord. I was never meant to carry the burdens of this life. I want to believe you. I want to know you as trustworthy. Help me to know the depths of Who you are so that I can trust you completely. I know I need to give up the reigns and let you lead. How many times have I prayed this Lord? Let this be the year that I stand on top and shout out with victory. You have the power to deliver me from this fear. Fear is the opposite of Faith and you say in your word that it is faith that pleases You. I LONG to please you Lord. See my heart, meet me right where I am. I know you will, you are faithful and true. Thank you in advance for liberty. In the powerful name of Jesus I pray, AMEN.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Word of the Month
I have decided on a word for the month, if not the year. I am praying that I might experience the superabundance that God has to offer us through a personal relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. This is no small living. This is mega-living! I am praying for His superabundance to permeate my life in every area. He has come to give me life to the full. (See John 10:10). That's what I want for this year. Guess what? That's what He has wanted for us since the beginning of time. Begin today living SUPERABUNDANTLY in Him!! I am overwhelmed at how He has blessed me and I want to live like it!
su·per·a·bun·dant /ˌsupərəˈbʌndənt/ –adjective
exceedingly or excessively abundant; more than sufficient; excessive.
American Psychological Association (APA):
superabundance. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved January 08, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/superabundance
Chicago Manual Style (CMS):
superabundance. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/superabundance (accessed: January 08, 2008).
Modern Language Association (MLA):
"superabundance." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 08 Jan. 2008.http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/superabundance
su·per·a·bun·dant /ˌsupərəˈbʌndənt/ –adjective
exceedingly or excessively abundant; more than sufficient; excessive.
American Psychological Association (APA):
superabundance. (n.d.). Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Retrieved January 08, 2008, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/superabundance
Chicago Manual Style (CMS):
superabundance. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/superabundance (accessed: January 08, 2008).
Modern Language Association (MLA):
"superabundance." Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 08 Jan. 2008.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Grace
My niece's name is Grace. She is absolutely that. Wonderful, unexpected, amazing and sweet about sums her up. Her smile, her laugh, her cute little voice and especially her song, "We will, we will ROCK YOU!!" just make you want to melt.
It is truly amazing how similar she is to what Grace really is. Grace can be described simply as God's undeserved favor or love for mankind. The key word is undeserved. God gives us grace not because we deserve it or who we are or strive to be. God gives us grace because of who HE is.
This time of year I am overwhelmed with the number of impatient, rude, get-out-of-my-way people in our world. Christmas has a way of bringing out the worst in people. Somehow the stresses of the earthly holiday overshadow the real reason we celebrate. Nothing new said here I know.
I was just thinking about things that have been said to me, about me and things done to me lately. The only thing I can do to is ask God to help me extend grace. You see, it is never our job to condemn. The bible says that, 'There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." We have been freed and we are to look upon others in light of our freedom. Our pastor recently challenged us to be grace extended this holiday season. When we are wronged and we respond with grace we are allowing God's love to flow through us and not become stopped up in us. I think if we lived life focused upon what is right with God and less upon what is wrong with other people, we would all be happier.
I am thankful that God's word says that we have a "High Priest who sympathizes with our weaknesses." That means that God knows we aren't going to be perfect. He understands our flesh. My prayer is that I would remember to "sympathize" with others in what I perceive as their weaknesses. (Something keeps reminding me of a story of a plank and a splinter!!) We all fall short. We are all desperately in need of grace. I find that I live by grace every moment. The longer I live the more I find that I am going to flub up, make a mistake, hurt someone etc. every day of my life. I need a flood of grace. I pray Lord, that this flood of your grace that I swim in on a daily basis would overflow to those around me. Help me not to point fingers but to offer grace and point people to Christ.
It is truly amazing how similar she is to what Grace really is. Grace can be described simply as God's undeserved favor or love for mankind. The key word is undeserved. God gives us grace not because we deserve it or who we are or strive to be. God gives us grace because of who HE is.
This time of year I am overwhelmed with the number of impatient, rude, get-out-of-my-way people in our world. Christmas has a way of bringing out the worst in people. Somehow the stresses of the earthly holiday overshadow the real reason we celebrate. Nothing new said here I know.
I was just thinking about things that have been said to me, about me and things done to me lately. The only thing I can do to is ask God to help me extend grace. You see, it is never our job to condemn. The bible says that, 'There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." We have been freed and we are to look upon others in light of our freedom. Our pastor recently challenged us to be grace extended this holiday season. When we are wronged and we respond with grace we are allowing God's love to flow through us and not become stopped up in us. I think if we lived life focused upon what is right with God and less upon what is wrong with other people, we would all be happier.
I am thankful that God's word says that we have a "High Priest who sympathizes with our weaknesses." That means that God knows we aren't going to be perfect. He understands our flesh. My prayer is that I would remember to "sympathize" with others in what I perceive as their weaknesses. (Something keeps reminding me of a story of a plank and a splinter!!) We all fall short. We are all desperately in need of grace. I find that I live by grace every moment. The longer I live the more I find that I am going to flub up, make a mistake, hurt someone etc. every day of my life. I need a flood of grace. I pray Lord, that this flood of your grace that I swim in on a daily basis would overflow to those around me. Help me not to point fingers but to offer grace and point people to Christ.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Risk
I am not a gambling woman. Not a surprise to any of you I am sure. I am a terrible risk taker. I could never bet it on a chance. I am a have-to-have-all-the-details-before-I-decide kind of woman. I ask questions or surmise things in situations that my husband just laughs and says, "Are you kidding me that that actually crossed your mind?!" All of this being said, I am not saying that taking a risk is a bad thing. Gambling is bad. Real life risks can be good.
I took a risk this week. I'd love to tell you that I went base jumping or something exciting like that. In a way though, I had the same butterflies in my stomach. I was able to be completely vulnerable and eat crow with a good friend of mine. Eating crow is a hard thing to do and it never tastes good. I do know that it feels good to be humble. It feels good to say, "I blew it." No excuses. Just, "Please forgive me."
It is amazing how time changes our perspective. God has been challenging me in ways that I never really acknowledged that I needed to be challenged in. For instance, selfishness, insecurity and a critical spirit. Yep. A pastor's wife that isn't perfect. That describes me to a T. I need work. When we acknowledge our weakness, we don't have to pity our selves or feel bad about how far we have to go. We get to rejoice in the strength of Almighty God to change us. He does the work, we do the believing.
My risk didn't necessarily result in a miracle. It did begin a change though. I know that I have done what God let me to do. The results are up to Him. I think with each risk or step of faith we take with God it gets easier. Not easy but easier. I had a second opportunity to take a risk this week. I had the same butterflies. I had to humble myself again. It didn't feel good at the time but I feel closer to God as a result. Not because He moved closer but because I know that I can't go through this life with my weaknesses without a Warrior God to come in and rescue me...mostly from myself.
Dear Friend of mine, if you read this blog, please know how much I appreciate your willing heart to listen and forgive. You made eating crow a graceful thing. May God bless you for your heart of compassion and understanding.
By the way, Body by God has become a little bit more like Body by Chocolate to me lately. I made Cranberry Almond Bark yesterday. Not a good thing to do when you are tyring to avoid sugar. But, today is a new day with new grace and another chance to eat less sugar...or not.
I took a risk this week. I'd love to tell you that I went base jumping or something exciting like that. In a way though, I had the same butterflies in my stomach. I was able to be completely vulnerable and eat crow with a good friend of mine. Eating crow is a hard thing to do and it never tastes good. I do know that it feels good to be humble. It feels good to say, "I blew it." No excuses. Just, "Please forgive me."
It is amazing how time changes our perspective. God has been challenging me in ways that I never really acknowledged that I needed to be challenged in. For instance, selfishness, insecurity and a critical spirit. Yep. A pastor's wife that isn't perfect. That describes me to a T. I need work. When we acknowledge our weakness, we don't have to pity our selves or feel bad about how far we have to go. We get to rejoice in the strength of Almighty God to change us. He does the work, we do the believing.
My risk didn't necessarily result in a miracle. It did begin a change though. I know that I have done what God let me to do. The results are up to Him. I think with each risk or step of faith we take with God it gets easier. Not easy but easier. I had a second opportunity to take a risk this week. I had the same butterflies. I had to humble myself again. It didn't feel good at the time but I feel closer to God as a result. Not because He moved closer but because I know that I can't go through this life with my weaknesses without a Warrior God to come in and rescue me...mostly from myself.
Dear Friend of mine, if you read this blog, please know how much I appreciate your willing heart to listen and forgive. You made eating crow a graceful thing. May God bless you for your heart of compassion and understanding.
By the way, Body by God has become a little bit more like Body by Chocolate to me lately. I made Cranberry Almond Bark yesterday. Not a good thing to do when you are tyring to avoid sugar. But, today is a new day with new grace and another chance to eat less sugar...or not.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Happy Birthday to Me!
Yes. I will not be shy to say that TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. How's it going you wonder? Well, it is just like any other day. The kids were fighting, we were late getting out of the door and I still can't figure out why "cover up" doesn't "cover up" zits. Why make a product that sticks everywhere but where you need it to? It doesn't make sense. My face has broken out even worse than before...why is this happening? Is it my age??
I took all of my Origins products back and went back to the old faithful, Neutrogena. Time will tell...it is just frustrating at 32 to worry about! Good grief.
I have cried several times today. In the shower, at the coffee shop and even a little now. I don't know what it is. I have so much to be thankful for. I am blessed to have another day to live my life and enjoy my family. Can't quite put my finger on it.
A friend of mine gave me a chocolate bar for my birthday...WHAT A FRIEND! Friends give friends chocolate!! I have managed not to eat the whole bar in one day! Quite a feat, I know. By the way, the Body by God is going a little haywire. Thanksgiving threw me off...or maybe I just went bonkers from completely cutting out sugar....???? Who knows. I am having a hard time keeping the sugar out of my diet. A friend of mine said today, "You can be addicted to sugar just like anything else, you know." Thanks for pointing that out, dear friend! Now I have guilt. :)
I have been thinking a lot about words lately. Perhaps why I have not posted in awhile. Words have power. I have realized the influence that words have and I think that it has scared me for the first time. I know that I am going to be held accountable for my words and I want to make sure that the ones I choose are glorifying God. I don't have everything figured out. I would not consider myself a pillar in the faith. But, as Joyce Meyer says, "I may not be where I should be but praise God that I am not where I used to be. I'm okay and I'm on my way." Amen sister. One grace-filled moment at a time He works eternity into me. Help me not to let you down Dear Lord. I long for only You. You are more than enough. Thank you for the life you have blessed me with and the days I have been able to live so far. Help me, to as Steven Curtis Champan says, "live for every moment and live every moment for the Lord."
I took all of my Origins products back and went back to the old faithful, Neutrogena. Time will tell...it is just frustrating at 32 to worry about! Good grief.
I have cried several times today. In the shower, at the coffee shop and even a little now. I don't know what it is. I have so much to be thankful for. I am blessed to have another day to live my life and enjoy my family. Can't quite put my finger on it.
A friend of mine gave me a chocolate bar for my birthday...WHAT A FRIEND! Friends give friends chocolate!! I have managed not to eat the whole bar in one day! Quite a feat, I know. By the way, the Body by God is going a little haywire. Thanksgiving threw me off...or maybe I just went bonkers from completely cutting out sugar....???? Who knows. I am having a hard time keeping the sugar out of my diet. A friend of mine said today, "You can be addicted to sugar just like anything else, you know." Thanks for pointing that out, dear friend! Now I have guilt. :)
I have been thinking a lot about words lately. Perhaps why I have not posted in awhile. Words have power. I have realized the influence that words have and I think that it has scared me for the first time. I know that I am going to be held accountable for my words and I want to make sure that the ones I choose are glorifying God. I don't have everything figured out. I would not consider myself a pillar in the faith. But, as Joyce Meyer says, "I may not be where I should be but praise God that I am not where I used to be. I'm okay and I'm on my way." Amen sister. One grace-filled moment at a time He works eternity into me. Help me not to let you down Dear Lord. I long for only You. You are more than enough. Thank you for the life you have blessed me with and the days I have been able to live so far. Help me, to as Steven Curtis Champan says, "live for every moment and live every moment for the Lord."
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
How's it Going??
Alas. A new post. It has been about a month since I last posted. I don't have any real amazing insights for you. I will just give you an update in a rambling essay sort of form:
Both my kids are sick. If your kids aren't school age you will soon understand or if you are over that stage then you can surely relate - when do you keep them home and when do you send them? I sent one to school yesterday and she cried. She was sent home 3 hours later. I didn't send one and he cried about "missing his buddies." No win here. Also, I long for clarity on when to go to the doctor. I have wasted my share of money on co-pays for a "just an upper respiratory infection" diagnosis (that means "a cold" in Dr. language). Ugh. Seems like I am not the only mom on this roller coaster of wondering.
I am terribly behind on my school work. Mostly from lack of time or energy. Please pray that God will make a way!
My favorite magazine right now is Real Simple. I love it. I love their cleaning tools too. Speaking of cleaning, I am obsessed with my cleaning supplies right now. I love Shaklee's Get Clean line. If you love cleaning supplies that are actually good for you, okay for your kids to touch and good for the earth, you can get the whole kit for $120 bucks right now. You get everything from window cleaner, microfiber towels (MY FAVORITE!!), laundry detergent to dish soap and some. The stuff is concentrated so you add water. It lasts forever!! I just love it. It was on Oprah not too long ago. The germ killer kills more germs than Clorox and won't harm you like Clorox can. Enough of my sales pitch. I just can't help it. It is great stuff! I am an oddity in that I would even love cleaning supplies for my birthday!
I still love Starbucks. Nothing has changed here. :)
I will be 32 in a couple weeks. Wow. Hard to believe.
In light of better products for you, I invested in the Origins Skin Care line. My skin has gone through quite a metamorphosis. Maybe it is my age. My skin has broken out like I am 16 again. I keep holding out that the Origins isn't the cause. I was told to give it 4-6 weeks. I am close to 4. Improving but still not great. The products seem pretty great. They actually have a whole Organic line. Interesting. However, with all of the recalls with lead and chemicals, not such a bad investment if you asked me! It's just too bad most stuff wasn't just organic already. Instead we have to take stuff out and increase the price! Oh brother.
I was just talking to a friend about nutrition the other day too. I am on a new health kick. I was reading the book, Body by God and it inspired me a little. Lots of information about our food. You could go crazy trying to avoid nitrates, preservatives, antibiotics and other additives. My advice...do your best. Eat healthy within reason and then pray!! Okay. Here is my soapbox. How could I not preach just a little?? If God raised His son from the dead and then tells us that the same Resurrection power is available to us, why do we think it silly to ask God to transform our food before we eat it? I was debating over getting the flu shot for my kids. Then, I told someone that I was just going to pray over my children, anoint them with oil and trust God. She thought I was a nut. Maybe I am. But I am a nut who wants to please God with my faith! Anyway. I won't go any farther.
No baby news here. I have friends having babies and have found myself struggling a little now with my loss. I thought I was fine but I think it hits me every now and again. Another question that I wrestle with is to try again or believe that God only has 2 wonderful children for me?? Maybe I can't handle or afford 3?? Maybe my body can't handle 3? Again, no clarity here. Another roller coaster.
It's getting colder here. I miss Colorado this time of year. They were 70 degrees yesterday. Only 40 today though. :) That's Colorado!! I wanted to take my kids to the mountains. I read an article about Colorado Mountains the other day and it made me homesick. Although, Colorado is only home to my in laws now as my parents have moved. Colorado will always be my favorite state I think. We get to go for Christmas, so that is exciting.
That reminds me. I am making my own Christmas cards this year. Prayerfully they will get done before then!!
Oh, I almost forgot. I joined Facebook. I don't really understand it, but it seems to be the growing trend.
My laundry, cold coffee and sick children await. I pray this finds you well.
Ta ta for now.
Both my kids are sick. If your kids aren't school age you will soon understand or if you are over that stage then you can surely relate - when do you keep them home and when do you send them? I sent one to school yesterday and she cried. She was sent home 3 hours later. I didn't send one and he cried about "missing his buddies." No win here. Also, I long for clarity on when to go to the doctor. I have wasted my share of money on co-pays for a "just an upper respiratory infection" diagnosis (that means "a cold" in Dr. language). Ugh. Seems like I am not the only mom on this roller coaster of wondering.
I am terribly behind on my school work. Mostly from lack of time or energy. Please pray that God will make a way!
My favorite magazine right now is Real Simple. I love it. I love their cleaning tools too. Speaking of cleaning, I am obsessed with my cleaning supplies right now. I love Shaklee's Get Clean line. If you love cleaning supplies that are actually good for you, okay for your kids to touch and good for the earth, you can get the whole kit for $120 bucks right now. You get everything from window cleaner, microfiber towels (MY FAVORITE!!), laundry detergent to dish soap and some. The stuff is concentrated so you add water. It lasts forever!! I just love it. It was on Oprah not too long ago. The germ killer kills more germs than Clorox and won't harm you like Clorox can. Enough of my sales pitch. I just can't help it. It is great stuff! I am an oddity in that I would even love cleaning supplies for my birthday!
I still love Starbucks. Nothing has changed here. :)
I will be 32 in a couple weeks. Wow. Hard to believe.
In light of better products for you, I invested in the Origins Skin Care line. My skin has gone through quite a metamorphosis. Maybe it is my age. My skin has broken out like I am 16 again. I keep holding out that the Origins isn't the cause. I was told to give it 4-6 weeks. I am close to 4. Improving but still not great. The products seem pretty great. They actually have a whole Organic line. Interesting. However, with all of the recalls with lead and chemicals, not such a bad investment if you asked me! It's just too bad most stuff wasn't just organic already. Instead we have to take stuff out and increase the price! Oh brother.
I was just talking to a friend about nutrition the other day too. I am on a new health kick. I was reading the book, Body by God and it inspired me a little. Lots of information about our food. You could go crazy trying to avoid nitrates, preservatives, antibiotics and other additives. My advice...do your best. Eat healthy within reason and then pray!! Okay. Here is my soapbox. How could I not preach just a little?? If God raised His son from the dead and then tells us that the same Resurrection power is available to us, why do we think it silly to ask God to transform our food before we eat it? I was debating over getting the flu shot for my kids. Then, I told someone that I was just going to pray over my children, anoint them with oil and trust God. She thought I was a nut. Maybe I am. But I am a nut who wants to please God with my faith! Anyway. I won't go any farther.
No baby news here. I have friends having babies and have found myself struggling a little now with my loss. I thought I was fine but I think it hits me every now and again. Another question that I wrestle with is to try again or believe that God only has 2 wonderful children for me?? Maybe I can't handle or afford 3?? Maybe my body can't handle 3? Again, no clarity here. Another roller coaster.
It's getting colder here. I miss Colorado this time of year. They were 70 degrees yesterday. Only 40 today though. :) That's Colorado!! I wanted to take my kids to the mountains. I read an article about Colorado Mountains the other day and it made me homesick. Although, Colorado is only home to my in laws now as my parents have moved. Colorado will always be my favorite state I think. We get to go for Christmas, so that is exciting.
That reminds me. I am making my own Christmas cards this year. Prayerfully they will get done before then!!
Oh, I almost forgot. I joined Facebook. I don't really understand it, but it seems to be the growing trend.
My laundry, cold coffee and sick children await. I pray this finds you well.
Ta ta for now.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Unexpected Spa
My children are microderm abrasion for my soul. They seem to often times bring out in me things I didn't know were hidden deep inside. A friend told me yesterday, "Just wait until they become teenagers!" I think I will just wait! There's enough bad coming out now, perhaps by the time they are teenagers my soul's "skin" will be as porcelain.
However, spa treatments, over time, purify and make the skin radiant. So, I can only conclude that God gives us children as a blessing...and with a specific purpose.
However, spa treatments, over time, purify and make the skin radiant. So, I can only conclude that God gives us children as a blessing...and with a specific purpose.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Fumble #4
Trying to cut my daughter's bangs. I convinced my husband that I was capable. I own barber scissors and a special comb for gathering hair to clip. I remember my mom cut my bangs when I was a kid and I don't remember it being any big deal. She used to gather them, twist them tight and then snip the bottom across. I did the same thing to my daughter's bangs while she complained about having to sit still. My husband stood behind with the trash basket in place. Again, another thing for my daughter to complain about, "What's that smell? Oh gross, what is that?" These questions came again and again. My husband raised his eyebrows and asked me more than once if I knew what I was doing. Okay. In female that means, "I don't trust you. You can't do this." This makes it even more challenging for me because I love to prove people wrong! My mom always said that I would make a great lawyer. Anyway. I snipped the bangs and I could only ever get about 3/4 of the way through the clip before the scissors closed all the way. Ugh. That last 1/4 was impossible to get even with the first bit. I cut. I cut a little more. I combed her bangs down again and again.
"There," I cried, "I did it." My husband concurred. It looks good. I sent my daughter off to bed pretty proud of myself. I can't sew so it made me proud that I could at least clip a bit of hair. This morning my daughter woke up and I braided her hair. (I did not give her a choice today...in case you read yesterday's saga). She looked adorable. She ran around the kitchen pretending to be a horse (not uncommon) and then I looked at her bangs. "Holy cow" was all I could say. There were long, short, long, short, long, short pieces. Her bangs looked crazy. As I got her into the car with her dad I told her to whisk them of to the side if the long pieces got in her eyes (this helped camouflage the fact that her mom CANNOT cut hair). Of course she was still busy neighing like a horse a did not hear a word I said.
After school I brought her home. I looked at her bangs again and combed them down. She would get frustrated and whisk them back into a mess with her hand. I would comb them down again and she would repeat. Finally, I enlisted daddy's help and he simply said, "Please take her to Great Clips." Enough said.
"There," I cried, "I did it." My husband concurred. It looks good. I sent my daughter off to bed pretty proud of myself. I can't sew so it made me proud that I could at least clip a bit of hair. This morning my daughter woke up and I braided her hair. (I did not give her a choice today...in case you read yesterday's saga). She looked adorable. She ran around the kitchen pretending to be a horse (not uncommon) and then I looked at her bangs. "Holy cow" was all I could say. There were long, short, long, short, long, short pieces. Her bangs looked crazy. As I got her into the car with her dad I told her to whisk them of to the side if the long pieces got in her eyes (this helped camouflage the fact that her mom CANNOT cut hair). Of course she was still busy neighing like a horse a did not hear a word I said.
After school I brought her home. I looked at her bangs again and combed them down. She would get frustrated and whisk them back into a mess with her hand. I would comb them down again and she would repeat. Finally, I enlisted daddy's help and he simply said, "Please take her to Great Clips." Enough said.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Fumble #3
Who know where these fumbles are going...but it is fun to spread the news of my imperfections, especially since my blog is called Sara Jane Says and really what I know is very little. (I am an extremely good pretender though!)
Onwards. Fumble #3 is Blaming my lack of having it together on my kids. Ouch. This morning I woke up to my husband asking me if I was going to get up. In female that sounds a lot like "You are being lazy. Get out of bed." Not how I anticipated this day starting. Now, I confess, I asked him to help me get up earlier. Big mistake, ladies. Huge. If you are anything like me, morning is a very fragile time. I remember growing up that my family never talked to me in the morning until after I had eaten my cereal. Enough said. I got up and read my bible. After that, I looked at the clock and turned it into high-gear (i.e. crazy mom on the loose mode). I made my daughter's sandwich and then heard her yelling "Mommy!!! Mommy!!!" I muttered to my husband, "Why can't she get out of bed and come down stairs when she is awake? Why must she scream?"
She made it down stairs with her sweet daddy's help. I promptly kissed her, set her in her chair and handed her a doughnut in one swift manner. I added her vitamins to her plate to compensate for the quick, non-nutritional, powdery mess that we called breakfast this morning. Moments later my son sneaked up on me with a big smile on his face. I greeted him with a kiss and set him up with the same quality breakfast that his sister had. I supplied them with a wet washcloth to clean their hands from all of the powder. I quickly ran upstairs to hop in the shower.
By the time I made it out of the shower my husband was running out the door. He was running late and so was I. Then it hit me. Ugh. I was suppose to get my daughter an empty pringles can for a project and I did not. So high gear turned into "you-better-watch-out-here-she-comes" mode. I got dressed, threw on makeup and my kids appeared before me arguing. Not uncommon these days. I told them to quit arguing and go get on the clothes that I had pulled out for them. I continued getting ready and then checked on the progress of dressing. My daughter had on her pants and no shirt and was cuddled in bed. My son still had on his pajamas. I told them (with a more stern tone) "Please get dressed." I dried my hair and called them into the bathroom to brush teeth. I had to wait for my son because his "toes were too cold to brush his teeth." He needed socks. I told him the socks were in the hamper in my room. Did I confess that I am horrible with laundry?? He found some socks and of course has to put them on just so. I resisted the urge to grab the socks and stick them on. My daughter finished her teeth brushing. I asked her how she wanted her hair, "Pony tail, flip tail or braid?" She responded, "I want sports braids where you can't see the holder." I retorted, "We don't have time for that and I don't even know what it is." She said, "I will go get my book and show you." I responded, "We don't have time. Pony tail, flip tail or braid?" She responded, "Sports braids." UGH!!! Finally I said, "You are getting a pony tail. I don't have time for this." I sent her downstairs.
I got her brother's teeth brushed and sent him downstairs only to hear the two of them arguing over who got to sit on what step. I threw some socks down to my daughter and asked her to put them on and asked my son to put on his shoes. I brushed my teeth and headed down to put on my shoes. My daughter had on no socks and my son was back upstairs. The wheels were coming off the wagon. "I told you to put on your socks!! Where is your brother??" My son came downstairs with a huge pile of books under his arm. To my amazement he made it down the stairs without dropping them. My daughter began to cry, "I can't do this!!" My six year old had not even tried to put on her socks but insisted that she was unable. I remember muttering something about her 4 year old brother being able to do it. Then I said, "No pringles can." My daughter began to cry and said, "Fine. Then I am not going to school." I replied, "Okay." Not the best response, I know. Remember, this is a fumble.
I convinced my daughter to get in the car and then she said something along the lines of "Fine then!" and crossed her arms. I replied with, "You are grounded." Without skipping a beat she asked, "From what?" I replied, "From anything fun." My son looked at me and asked, "From like toys and books and stuff?" I was not prepared to answer so many questions about a punishment that I thought would simply just spark a little bit of respect from my daughter. My plan backfired. We were on our way to school with me asking my daughter why she talks back to me yet she behaves beautifully at school? I did pull into CVS to buy some pringles and as we pulled into the spot my daughter just said a quiet, "Thank you mommy."
That quiet answer melted my heart. I knew she was sorry. We bought the pringles and on the way out to the car I got down at eye level with my daughter and said, "I love you. Let's have a good morning." I set the tone for my home. I realized that it was not my daughter's fault that I had not gotten the pringles can the night before. She had told me right after school yesterday that she needed it. It was not her fault that I did not get up earlier. It was not her fault that I neglected to pray. Ouch. Fumble. If I had been responsible, I might have dealt with my daughter's whining and complaining in a better manner. Don't get me wrong, it is not okay for her to whine. Then again, it is not okay for me either.
Onwards. Fumble #3 is Blaming my lack of having it together on my kids. Ouch. This morning I woke up to my husband asking me if I was going to get up. In female that sounds a lot like "You are being lazy. Get out of bed." Not how I anticipated this day starting. Now, I confess, I asked him to help me get up earlier. Big mistake, ladies. Huge. If you are anything like me, morning is a very fragile time. I remember growing up that my family never talked to me in the morning until after I had eaten my cereal. Enough said. I got up and read my bible. After that, I looked at the clock and turned it into high-gear (i.e. crazy mom on the loose mode). I made my daughter's sandwich and then heard her yelling "Mommy!!! Mommy!!!" I muttered to my husband, "Why can't she get out of bed and come down stairs when she is awake? Why must she scream?"
She made it down stairs with her sweet daddy's help. I promptly kissed her, set her in her chair and handed her a doughnut in one swift manner. I added her vitamins to her plate to compensate for the quick, non-nutritional, powdery mess that we called breakfast this morning. Moments later my son sneaked up on me with a big smile on his face. I greeted him with a kiss and set him up with the same quality breakfast that his sister had. I supplied them with a wet washcloth to clean their hands from all of the powder. I quickly ran upstairs to hop in the shower.
By the time I made it out of the shower my husband was running out the door. He was running late and so was I. Then it hit me. Ugh. I was suppose to get my daughter an empty pringles can for a project and I did not. So high gear turned into "you-better-watch-out-here-she-comes" mode. I got dressed, threw on makeup and my kids appeared before me arguing. Not uncommon these days. I told them to quit arguing and go get on the clothes that I had pulled out for them. I continued getting ready and then checked on the progress of dressing. My daughter had on her pants and no shirt and was cuddled in bed. My son still had on his pajamas. I told them (with a more stern tone) "Please get dressed." I dried my hair and called them into the bathroom to brush teeth. I had to wait for my son because his "toes were too cold to brush his teeth." He needed socks. I told him the socks were in the hamper in my room. Did I confess that I am horrible with laundry?? He found some socks and of course has to put them on just so. I resisted the urge to grab the socks and stick them on. My daughter finished her teeth brushing. I asked her how she wanted her hair, "Pony tail, flip tail or braid?" She responded, "I want sports braids where you can't see the holder." I retorted, "We don't have time for that and I don't even know what it is." She said, "I will go get my book and show you." I responded, "We don't have time. Pony tail, flip tail or braid?" She responded, "Sports braids." UGH!!! Finally I said, "You are getting a pony tail. I don't have time for this." I sent her downstairs.
I got her brother's teeth brushed and sent him downstairs only to hear the two of them arguing over who got to sit on what step. I threw some socks down to my daughter and asked her to put them on and asked my son to put on his shoes. I brushed my teeth and headed down to put on my shoes. My daughter had on no socks and my son was back upstairs. The wheels were coming off the wagon. "I told you to put on your socks!! Where is your brother??" My son came downstairs with a huge pile of books under his arm. To my amazement he made it down the stairs without dropping them. My daughter began to cry, "I can't do this!!" My six year old had not even tried to put on her socks but insisted that she was unable. I remember muttering something about her 4 year old brother being able to do it. Then I said, "No pringles can." My daughter began to cry and said, "Fine. Then I am not going to school." I replied, "Okay." Not the best response, I know. Remember, this is a fumble.
I convinced my daughter to get in the car and then she said something along the lines of "Fine then!" and crossed her arms. I replied with, "You are grounded." Without skipping a beat she asked, "From what?" I replied, "From anything fun." My son looked at me and asked, "From like toys and books and stuff?" I was not prepared to answer so many questions about a punishment that I thought would simply just spark a little bit of respect from my daughter. My plan backfired. We were on our way to school with me asking my daughter why she talks back to me yet she behaves beautifully at school? I did pull into CVS to buy some pringles and as we pulled into the spot my daughter just said a quiet, "Thank you mommy."
That quiet answer melted my heart. I knew she was sorry. We bought the pringles and on the way out to the car I got down at eye level with my daughter and said, "I love you. Let's have a good morning." I set the tone for my home. I realized that it was not my daughter's fault that I had not gotten the pringles can the night before. She had told me right after school yesterday that she needed it. It was not her fault that I did not get up earlier. It was not her fault that I neglected to pray. Ouch. Fumble. If I had been responsible, I might have dealt with my daughter's whining and complaining in a better manner. Don't get me wrong, it is not okay for her to whine. Then again, it is not okay for me either.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Fumble #2
Hoping everyone will approve of the mothering choices I make. Simply, the only opinion I need to worry about is my heavenly daddy's. My daughter at age 6 is already concerned about what others around her think. I am overwhelmed by this. Now, she should care what mamma thinks, but it is funny, mamma can tell her what she thinks about her poor behavior and my daughter, again at age 6, has the amazing ability to completely tune me out! She needs to learn to listen to mom and I need to learn to listen more closely to God. I need to model this so well to my precious, tender daughter too. What this world thinks of us does not matter and won't matter when I am standing before the King!! I am only accountable to Him....well and my husband. But no one else!
Speaking of my husband, a bit off the subject but noteworthy nonetheless...we took a family trip today to Trader Joe's. Anyone who knows me well, knows how much I love this store. Healthy food at reasonable prices and reasonable coffee for free when you shop. How could you go wrong?? Tonight was particularly fun because they were playing some great 80s music. Again, those of you who know me, know that it is bad to be in a public place with my husband when 80s music is playing. Why? Because he turns into a complete lunatic. He lip syncs and throws his hands in the air like he is at a rock concert; an 80s rock concert! My kids absolutely love this behavior and in fact encourage it. So tonight, I turn around in a very crowded Trader Joe's to see my husband dancing, yes Dad Cook, you read it right...dancing in the aisle with my 4 year old son head banging and my daughter dancing and giggling like only she can. Then my husband yells, "Come on. Everybody now." I looked up and behold, a complete stranger had joined in the dancing. Good grief. What to do but join in. We really are a bunch of fools. But I would not have it any other way.
Speaking of my husband, a bit off the subject but noteworthy nonetheless...we took a family trip today to Trader Joe's. Anyone who knows me well, knows how much I love this store. Healthy food at reasonable prices and reasonable coffee for free when you shop. How could you go wrong?? Tonight was particularly fun because they were playing some great 80s music. Again, those of you who know me, know that it is bad to be in a public place with my husband when 80s music is playing. Why? Because he turns into a complete lunatic. He lip syncs and throws his hands in the air like he is at a rock concert; an 80s rock concert! My kids absolutely love this behavior and in fact encourage it. So tonight, I turn around in a very crowded Trader Joe's to see my husband dancing, yes Dad Cook, you read it right...dancing in the aisle with my 4 year old son head banging and my daughter dancing and giggling like only she can. Then my husband yells, "Come on. Everybody now." I looked up and behold, a complete stranger had joined in the dancing. Good grief. What to do but join in. We really are a bunch of fools. But I would not have it any other way.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Fumble #1
#1: Saying yes when I should say no. (Please don't say I told you so.) I have tried to be super mom and there ain't nothin' super about my underclothes anymore! Let me explain. I used to have Superwoman underoos when I was a kid. The underwear and camisole turned me super human. At least they made me look super human and that boosted my ego. My $18 push up bra and 5 pack of Hanes briefs just don't seem to have the same effect. Besides the obvious 25 plus years and having 2 kids, my "underoos" these days don't make me feel so super. Neither does missing God.
I pray and I ask the Lord to direct my steps. Yet sometimes I feel like following a pillar of fire would be easier than discerning a yes, no or wait from a still, small voice. I constantly question was that me or was that God? Was that from Him or was that idea from the chocolate I ate before bed last night. I get it right sometimes. I get it wrong a lot. I get frustrated trying to figure it all out a lot. I seek and ask for wisdom and sometimes its as though I get more confused. I can't really figure this out and probably never will. What I do know today is that yesterday I thought it was a yes. I said yes. Today, I feel as no would have been a better choice because the yes was really not best. Confused?? Me too.
I'm a mom, a pastor's wife and a girl who fumbles and bumbles through this life just trying to hear from God and do my best without the help of my underoos. Sometimes my best is pathetic at most. Today, I have decided that what it seems like or what it looks like to me really doesn't matter. I am on a journey towards God to figure out how to get into His Presence and "park it," as my mom would say, for good. I long to find that hemmed in place where I can encounter Jesus face to face. A relationship where there are no questions of what was said because it will be understood.
God help me. That's all I can pray here. Sometimes I say yes thinking that is right. Sometimes I say no with a regret. As I continue on in my walk, help me to hear you. Teach me what it is to do this thing together. Show me how to walk in your truth. Guide me each moment by the power of your Holy Spirit. Remove the wax from my spiritual ears and help me develop listening skills. Thank you Lord that you don't give up. You don't give me up. I fail so often and yet you remain. I am not deserving of your grace and yet you hold it out so tenderly. Thank you precious Father. Let us begin again. In your most Holy name, Amen.
I pray and I ask the Lord to direct my steps. Yet sometimes I feel like following a pillar of fire would be easier than discerning a yes, no or wait from a still, small voice. I constantly question was that me or was that God? Was that from Him or was that idea from the chocolate I ate before bed last night. I get it right sometimes. I get it wrong a lot. I get frustrated trying to figure it all out a lot. I seek and ask for wisdom and sometimes its as though I get more confused. I can't really figure this out and probably never will. What I do know today is that yesterday I thought it was a yes. I said yes. Today, I feel as no would have been a better choice because the yes was really not best. Confused?? Me too.
I'm a mom, a pastor's wife and a girl who fumbles and bumbles through this life just trying to hear from God and do my best without the help of my underoos. Sometimes my best is pathetic at most. Today, I have decided that what it seems like or what it looks like to me really doesn't matter. I am on a journey towards God to figure out how to get into His Presence and "park it," as my mom would say, for good. I long to find that hemmed in place where I can encounter Jesus face to face. A relationship where there are no questions of what was said because it will be understood.
God help me. That's all I can pray here. Sometimes I say yes thinking that is right. Sometimes I say no with a regret. As I continue on in my walk, help me to hear you. Teach me what it is to do this thing together. Show me how to walk in your truth. Guide me each moment by the power of your Holy Spirit. Remove the wax from my spiritual ears and help me develop listening skills. Thank you Lord that you don't give up. You don't give me up. I fail so often and yet you remain. I am not deserving of your grace and yet you hold it out so tenderly. Thank you precious Father. Let us begin again. In your most Holy name, Amen.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Somebody needs it
I just want to send out a blanket encouragement...I know that someone needs it. Simply: DON'T GIVE UP. You are going to make it. Keep your shoulders squared up with the Holy God who dances over you with joy. He will never fail you. He knows what He is doing. All He asks is that you cooperate. Don't try to get out of the tight grip that He has on you. What He is doing in you is worth the wait. Be still, calm, quieted to the depths of who you are and know that HE is God! The mountains seem high at the base but when you see the geography from above it is no match for the creator of the world. Step by step in His presence you will make it. Celebrate for you have already been given the victory. Live like it. Enjoy the process. You are a darling of the Most Glorious King!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Armed
How precious it was to me yesterday to witness the depths of my daughter's heart. I got some terrible news that my brother-in-law, her uncle, got a call to go to Iraq. This was unexpected as my sister and her family had not anticipated over seas duty for another six months and this duty was not suppose to take him to the dangerous parts of Iraq. So, I shared this with my daughter as we sat together at Panera Bread. By the way, I love to spend one on one time with both of my kids. If you don't do this...do. My daughter, without skipping a beat said, "Let's pray." She folded her hands, bowed her head and began a prayer, "Lord Jesus, please protect my Uncle from injury. Please do not let him die. I pray that he would put on the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the gospel shoes of peace, that he would take up the sword of the spirit and the shield of faith. In Jesus name, amen." She looked up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and smiled at me and said, "That's the armor of God, isn't it??" She asked as though she had prayed the wrong prayer. Tears streamed down my cheek as I said, "Your prayer was perfect, honey." And really, it was. It doesn't matter how my brother-in-law arms himself for the physical battle, his commander in chief doesn't live in a home made with human hands. His Champion arms him with all the weapons he needs to make it in this life. Glory hallelujah.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Deep Breath
I am holding on to the scripture that says "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou are with me!" (From Psalm 23). I'm not really near death although sometimes I think that a newborn's cry could put you quite close.
I am watching a 5 1/2 month old little boy who is a precious gem. He is a chubby, strong-willed boy that is quite, how to put this, blessed with a lot of doting and attention. The trouble is...I can dote but I also have a 4 and 6 year old who need my attention. I can't get this little guy to take consistent naps for the life of me. I discovered today the true meaning of the word hysterical. If I could have video-taped the cry he produced (it really was a PRODUCTION!!) when I put him in his bed for a nap I probably could have made good money selling it to Webster's online dictionary under the "hysterical" entry. Good night! You would have thought that the sky was falling. So what to do? He doesn't want to be rocked in my arms or set down to settle. He is tired and needs a nap but wants nothing to do with sleeping. He is even disliking his car seat on rides. Usually that would soothe...not so for him. My son said to me, "Mommy, I don't yike his crying." Amen brother. I don't either.
I can get advice but really this situation calls for my superhero. If my God can raise Jesus from the dead and says that kind of power is available to me - open up the floodgates. Precious Lord, you knew these circumstances before they came. You walk with me through the valley. You hold every answer, every ounce of patience I need and you have shown me compassion so that I might be compassionate. Thank you for all you have done and ALL YOU ARE YET TO DO. I look forward to the blog that will document an answer to this prayer! Amen and Amen!!
I am watching a 5 1/2 month old little boy who is a precious gem. He is a chubby, strong-willed boy that is quite, how to put this, blessed with a lot of doting and attention. The trouble is...I can dote but I also have a 4 and 6 year old who need my attention. I can't get this little guy to take consistent naps for the life of me. I discovered today the true meaning of the word hysterical. If I could have video-taped the cry he produced (it really was a PRODUCTION!!) when I put him in his bed for a nap I probably could have made good money selling it to Webster's online dictionary under the "hysterical" entry. Good night! You would have thought that the sky was falling. So what to do? He doesn't want to be rocked in my arms or set down to settle. He is tired and needs a nap but wants nothing to do with sleeping. He is even disliking his car seat on rides. Usually that would soothe...not so for him. My son said to me, "Mommy, I don't yike his crying." Amen brother. I don't either.
I can get advice but really this situation calls for my superhero. If my God can raise Jesus from the dead and says that kind of power is available to me - open up the floodgates. Precious Lord, you knew these circumstances before they came. You walk with me through the valley. You hold every answer, every ounce of patience I need and you have shown me compassion so that I might be compassionate. Thank you for all you have done and ALL YOU ARE YET TO DO. I look forward to the blog that will document an answer to this prayer! Amen and Amen!!
Monday, September 03, 2007
Screaming Banchees and 2 Crockpots
Today was a holiday. A day off work for my husband and a day off of school for my kids. Because of the holiday, I promised my daughter that I would sleep over in her room last night. We slept on an air mattress together. She fell right to sleep. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. My son of course had to join us. He kept trying to roll over me. He thinks its funny to make a "num, num, num" sound when he is fake sleeping. For some reason my nerves couldn't handle all the num, num, nums. He got moved to his own bed. I love it that he doesn't wake up when I move him.
Ahh. More room for me. I finally drifted off to sleep until I heard a scream. I bolted out of the air-mattress, which if you have ever tried to do is like trying to balance on a row boat. I stumbled a bit but found my bearings. I figured out where my daughter's table was with my big tow. Still in a stupor and with a throbbing appendage I raced to my son's room. He was fast asleep. I raced to my bedroom, stopping abruptly to tip toe around something in the hall, it was a shadow, only to find my husband snoring. Must have been a screaming banchee. I quietly walked back to my daughter's room trying to convince myself that it was still great fun to have a sleep over with her. I rolled back into bed which is really more like a raft I think. Why do they put ridges in something that is suppose to be a portable bed. What a dumb idea. As if ridges are going to make you forget that you are sleeping on the floor on something that moves when you do and makes a horrible grunt when you roll. And why is it that my hip or shoulder always feel like I was mashing them against a brick wall all night when I wake up?? Maybe it would be more comfortable if I were floating on it in a pool! Anyway, I "snuggled in" only to find that the pills on the sheet bothered me. I began to feel really bad as this was the bed and the sheet set that I give to my in laws when they come. Sorry guys, it wasn't meant to be this uncomfortable! I did manage to forget about the scratchy sheets and my daughter's snores. Finally, I slept.
Until I was blasted awake with a blow to the face! I sat straight up only to find that it was my daughter's foot that had kicked me right in the lip. What in the world? How is it that she moves so much in her sleep. I didn't have to think too long to remember her daddy, my breaching whale. He has mastered the art of raising up and turning over in one thunderous movement. I on the other hand have finally mastered the art of not waking while this is taking place. I immediately felt my lip get fat and began to swallow my saliva quickly to determine whether or not there was blood. While I was doing this, I caught her foot headed my way again and gently placed it aside. I tried to move her back to the normal head-on-the-pillow sleeping position only to have her move and settle in an unnatural ready-to-kick-mom position once again.
I rolled over and placed my back to my daughter in order to insure my safety. I had a very hard time going back to sleep between my toe pain and fat lip. By the time I settled, my daughter woke up ready to start her day. Shortly after, my son came in and had a very puzzled look on his face. He began to scream and cry about wanting to sleep on the air mattress with us and demanded to know who moved him. I tried to reason with him, telling him he was actually blessed with a safe place to sleep in his own bed. The only way I could get him to stop crying was to convince him to go wake up his daddy.
I slowly made my way to the espresso machine hoping to boost my alertness. We decided to go shopping on this holiday. We found a coupon for a great cooking store. I had just been given a new slow cooker cook book. I headed out to find a bigger crock pot. After lots of whines about why we had to go into this store, coupled with my daughter telling me she was close to death because of her thirst, we made it to the crock pots. The one I wanted was $50 but I settled on one for $30 that was at least larger than the one I had. After making it back home I pulled out my old crock pot and guess what? The new one was exactly the same size. Time for more espresso. Now that I think about it, stay-at-home moms probably keep Starbucks in business! Good grief.
My toe still hurts. I am tired from the unsettled night of screaming banshees and kickboxing daughters. I'm frustrated that now I have 2 crock pots that are too small for all my new recipes. But I'm thankful for the holiday and that I can spend it unwinding from my long night.
Ahh. More room for me. I finally drifted off to sleep until I heard a scream. I bolted out of the air-mattress, which if you have ever tried to do is like trying to balance on a row boat. I stumbled a bit but found my bearings. I figured out where my daughter's table was with my big tow. Still in a stupor and with a throbbing appendage I raced to my son's room. He was fast asleep. I raced to my bedroom, stopping abruptly to tip toe around something in the hall, it was a shadow, only to find my husband snoring. Must have been a screaming banchee. I quietly walked back to my daughter's room trying to convince myself that it was still great fun to have a sleep over with her. I rolled back into bed which is really more like a raft I think. Why do they put ridges in something that is suppose to be a portable bed. What a dumb idea. As if ridges are going to make you forget that you are sleeping on the floor on something that moves when you do and makes a horrible grunt when you roll. And why is it that my hip or shoulder always feel like I was mashing them against a brick wall all night when I wake up?? Maybe it would be more comfortable if I were floating on it in a pool! Anyway, I "snuggled in" only to find that the pills on the sheet bothered me. I began to feel really bad as this was the bed and the sheet set that I give to my in laws when they come. Sorry guys, it wasn't meant to be this uncomfortable! I did manage to forget about the scratchy sheets and my daughter's snores. Finally, I slept.
Until I was blasted awake with a blow to the face! I sat straight up only to find that it was my daughter's foot that had kicked me right in the lip. What in the world? How is it that she moves so much in her sleep. I didn't have to think too long to remember her daddy, my breaching whale. He has mastered the art of raising up and turning over in one thunderous movement. I on the other hand have finally mastered the art of not waking while this is taking place. I immediately felt my lip get fat and began to swallow my saliva quickly to determine whether or not there was blood. While I was doing this, I caught her foot headed my way again and gently placed it aside. I tried to move her back to the normal head-on-the-pillow sleeping position only to have her move and settle in an unnatural ready-to-kick-mom position once again.
I rolled over and placed my back to my daughter in order to insure my safety. I had a very hard time going back to sleep between my toe pain and fat lip. By the time I settled, my daughter woke up ready to start her day. Shortly after, my son came in and had a very puzzled look on his face. He began to scream and cry about wanting to sleep on the air mattress with us and demanded to know who moved him. I tried to reason with him, telling him he was actually blessed with a safe place to sleep in his own bed. The only way I could get him to stop crying was to convince him to go wake up his daddy.
I slowly made my way to the espresso machine hoping to boost my alertness. We decided to go shopping on this holiday. We found a coupon for a great cooking store. I had just been given a new slow cooker cook book. I headed out to find a bigger crock pot. After lots of whines about why we had to go into this store, coupled with my daughter telling me she was close to death because of her thirst, we made it to the crock pots. The one I wanted was $50 but I settled on one for $30 that was at least larger than the one I had. After making it back home I pulled out my old crock pot and guess what? The new one was exactly the same size. Time for more espresso. Now that I think about it, stay-at-home moms probably keep Starbucks in business! Good grief.
My toe still hurts. I am tired from the unsettled night of screaming banshees and kickboxing daughters. I'm frustrated that now I have 2 crock pots that are too small for all my new recipes. But I'm thankful for the holiday and that I can spend it unwinding from my long night.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
What's Your Spin
As a mom I feel like I have been, correction, I have learned to put a positive spin on most anything. My daughter was convinced this morning that her hair-do made her look like a boy or made her look bald. Huh?? She left with my husband crying, (she was crying...not my husband :) ) convinced that kids would laugh at her. Now for your information I just braided her hair this morning. Then I tied the braids together with a cute flower barrette. I even took a mirror to show her the pretty barrette. Yet she still left crying. "Kids are going to laugh at me. I'm nervous." I told her she looked absolutely beautiful and promised her that her teacher would think the same.
As I prayed this morning, I felt the Lord impressing on me something. We can really "spin" our circumstances in any light to people. Here is what I mean: If my daughter goes into her class today saying to her friends, "I look bald," I can almost bet that her friends would agree or say, "Yeah, I see what you mean." But if my daughter instead went into her class with confidence and said, "Don't you love what I've done with my hair today. It is unique," she might have gotten a "Wow. I like your hair," comment instead.
I spoke to a couple people yesterday about a situation and spun it very negatively each time I spoke about it. Should I be surprised that I was many times affirmed in my negativity, "Oh yes. That does sound bad." I wonder what would have happened if I approached this sharing in a "God is so good. He is helping me with this. I am doing well by His grace." I doubt that any friend would retort, "It is not as good as you think, friend. You should be upset because what you are going through is hard."
My heartfelt prayer and earnest desire today is that God would give me a positive, firm confidence. I want to approach life with a contagious "God is good" attitude regardless of my circumstances. If I want positivity I need to sew it. If I want truth in feedback I need to sew seeds of THE truth. I can do all things through Christ. I am going to walk with assurance the path before me and allow HIM to be my guide not my emotions. Forgive me Lord for valuing others opinions over your infallible word.
As I prayed this morning, I felt the Lord impressing on me something. We can really "spin" our circumstances in any light to people. Here is what I mean: If my daughter goes into her class today saying to her friends, "I look bald," I can almost bet that her friends would agree or say, "Yeah, I see what you mean." But if my daughter instead went into her class with confidence and said, "Don't you love what I've done with my hair today. It is unique," she might have gotten a "Wow. I like your hair," comment instead.
I spoke to a couple people yesterday about a situation and spun it very negatively each time I spoke about it. Should I be surprised that I was many times affirmed in my negativity, "Oh yes. That does sound bad." I wonder what would have happened if I approached this sharing in a "God is so good. He is helping me with this. I am doing well by His grace." I doubt that any friend would retort, "It is not as good as you think, friend. You should be upset because what you are going through is hard."
My heartfelt prayer and earnest desire today is that God would give me a positive, firm confidence. I want to approach life with a contagious "God is good" attitude regardless of my circumstances. If I want positivity I need to sew it. If I want truth in feedback I need to sew seeds of THE truth. I can do all things through Christ. I am going to walk with assurance the path before me and allow HIM to be my guide not my emotions. Forgive me Lord for valuing others opinions over your infallible word.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Dear Diary
My mom wouldn't ever let me have a diary when I was growing up. She didn't like the idea of me having secrets. I thought it was lame at the time. I am all grown up now and I think the idea of a diary is great. My blog is a diary! So today, I thought that I would just diary my day from start until now...
4:30 a.m.: First alarm goes off. I push snooze. I contemplate getting out of bed.
4:50 a.m.: Second alarm goes off across the room. I have to get out of bed to turn it off. I am smart to do this I think.
4:51 a.m.: I tiptoe in the bathroom and attempt for the second day in a row to put in my contacts via nightlight in the bathroom. I spent lots of time pressing my finger to my eye sure that the contact was placed. I put my finger in the case again. Pressed finger to eye. Nope. No contact. Finally, I found the contact only to have it fold on my finger. I held it as close to the nightlight as I could to try and figure out which way to pull it to get it flat. Success. Contacts in.
4:53 a.m.: I tiptoe downstairs to read my bible. Reading Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
5:20 a.m.: Pray in kitchen. Pacing back and forth keeps me awake.
5:40 a.m.: Tiptoe upstairs to get on workout clothes. Without lights, my sports bra is hard to find in my drawer. I found a swimsuit, a tank top and then finally a sports bra.
5:41 a.m.: Jog in place workout video.
6:10 a.m.: Husband up and joins me downstairs. Lunch made for daughter: sandwich, goldfish, peeled orange, 2 cookies, banana and cheese for a snack. Juice and icepack added too.
6:15 a.m.: Hop in shower.
6:45 a.m.: Son and daughter awake. Son dressed. Daughter dressed and hair done. Breakfast prepared.
7:15 a.m.: 5 1/2 month old arrives to be babysat.
7:30 a.m.: Kids teeth brushed with baby watching.
7:50 a.m.: Kids shoes on and put in car. 2 trips with all baby stuff and school stuff.
8:00 a.m.: Depart for school. By the way, husband left at 7:40 a.m.
8:17 a.m.: Arrive at school. Daughter decides she is too scared to walk in by herself.
8:21 a.m.: Baby in stroller. Daughter with backpack on. Son asking lots of questions. Head into school.
8:25 a.m.: Daughter to her class. Couldn't get backpack open. Had to have teacher help her. Blew her a kiss.
8:27 a.m.: Walk to coffee shop in church with baby and son. Purchase cookie. Son refuses to walk and eat at same time. Wait for son to finish cookie.
8:35 a.m.: Walk back to car to go home.
9:00 a.m.: Home. Take baby and son for walk around the block.
9:20 a.m.: Play with baby and son.
10:20 a.m.: Put baby down for nap. Play with son. Read several pages in textbook for school.
11:20 a.m.: Baby awake. Change baby. Feed baby bottle.
11:45 a.m.: Baby in exersaucer. Make son lunch.
12:00 p.m.: I have been up for about 7 hours. Make myself lunch.
12:15 p.m.: Take son and baby outside for fresh air.
12:35 p.m.: Friend stops by to drop off some makeup I ordered.
1:00 p.m.: Friend leaves.
1:45 p.m.: Baby's mom arrives to get baby.
2:00 p.m.: Play with son and relax for a few minutes.
2:40 p.m.: Leave to get daughter from school.
3:10 p.m.: Daughter tired. Mommy tired.
3:15 p.m.: Drive to daddy's office.
3:20 p.m.: Daddy drives mommy, daughter and son to Starbucks for a special treat.
4:00 p.m.: Home with daughter and son. Clothes changed. Few phone calls made while son and daughter play.
4:45 p.m.: Husband home. Take walk with family.
4:50 p.m.: Short walk. Kids fought too much.
5:00 p.m.: Started dinner.
5:45 p.m.: Dinner ready. Dinner eaten. Dishes washed.
6:15 p.m.: Outside to play beanbag game with family.
7:00 p.m.: Neighbor comes over to borrow suitcase.
7:10 p.m.: Kids brought in to take shower.
7:20 p.m.: Break taken. Read several pages in textbook.
8:00 p.m.: Husband put kids to bed. Runs to store.
8:20 p.m.: Husband home with new foot bath for mommy.
8:23 p.m.: Mommy writes blog. Mommy wants to cry.
8:25 p.m.: Mommy wants to go enjoy foot bath. Husband is telling me my foot bath water is going to get cold. Good night.
4:30 a.m.: First alarm goes off. I push snooze. I contemplate getting out of bed.
4:50 a.m.: Second alarm goes off across the room. I have to get out of bed to turn it off. I am smart to do this I think.
4:51 a.m.: I tiptoe in the bathroom and attempt for the second day in a row to put in my contacts via nightlight in the bathroom. I spent lots of time pressing my finger to my eye sure that the contact was placed. I put my finger in the case again. Pressed finger to eye. Nope. No contact. Finally, I found the contact only to have it fold on my finger. I held it as close to the nightlight as I could to try and figure out which way to pull it to get it flat. Success. Contacts in.
4:53 a.m.: I tiptoe downstairs to read my bible. Reading Holiness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
5:20 a.m.: Pray in kitchen. Pacing back and forth keeps me awake.
5:40 a.m.: Tiptoe upstairs to get on workout clothes. Without lights, my sports bra is hard to find in my drawer. I found a swimsuit, a tank top and then finally a sports bra.
5:41 a.m.: Jog in place workout video.
6:10 a.m.: Husband up and joins me downstairs. Lunch made for daughter: sandwich, goldfish, peeled orange, 2 cookies, banana and cheese for a snack. Juice and icepack added too.
6:15 a.m.: Hop in shower.
6:45 a.m.: Son and daughter awake. Son dressed. Daughter dressed and hair done. Breakfast prepared.
7:15 a.m.: 5 1/2 month old arrives to be babysat.
7:30 a.m.: Kids teeth brushed with baby watching.
7:50 a.m.: Kids shoes on and put in car. 2 trips with all baby stuff and school stuff.
8:00 a.m.: Depart for school. By the way, husband left at 7:40 a.m.
8:17 a.m.: Arrive at school. Daughter decides she is too scared to walk in by herself.
8:21 a.m.: Baby in stroller. Daughter with backpack on. Son asking lots of questions. Head into school.
8:25 a.m.: Daughter to her class. Couldn't get backpack open. Had to have teacher help her. Blew her a kiss.
8:27 a.m.: Walk to coffee shop in church with baby and son. Purchase cookie. Son refuses to walk and eat at same time. Wait for son to finish cookie.
8:35 a.m.: Walk back to car to go home.
9:00 a.m.: Home. Take baby and son for walk around the block.
9:20 a.m.: Play with baby and son.
10:20 a.m.: Put baby down for nap. Play with son. Read several pages in textbook for school.
11:20 a.m.: Baby awake. Change baby. Feed baby bottle.
11:45 a.m.: Baby in exersaucer. Make son lunch.
12:00 p.m.: I have been up for about 7 hours. Make myself lunch.
12:15 p.m.: Take son and baby outside for fresh air.
12:35 p.m.: Friend stops by to drop off some makeup I ordered.
1:00 p.m.: Friend leaves.
1:45 p.m.: Baby's mom arrives to get baby.
2:00 p.m.: Play with son and relax for a few minutes.
2:40 p.m.: Leave to get daughter from school.
3:10 p.m.: Daughter tired. Mommy tired.
3:15 p.m.: Drive to daddy's office.
3:20 p.m.: Daddy drives mommy, daughter and son to Starbucks for a special treat.
4:00 p.m.: Home with daughter and son. Clothes changed. Few phone calls made while son and daughter play.
4:45 p.m.: Husband home. Take walk with family.
4:50 p.m.: Short walk. Kids fought too much.
5:00 p.m.: Started dinner.
5:45 p.m.: Dinner ready. Dinner eaten. Dishes washed.
6:15 p.m.: Outside to play beanbag game with family.
7:00 p.m.: Neighbor comes over to borrow suitcase.
7:10 p.m.: Kids brought in to take shower.
7:20 p.m.: Break taken. Read several pages in textbook.
8:00 p.m.: Husband put kids to bed. Runs to store.
8:20 p.m.: Husband home with new foot bath for mommy.
8:23 p.m.: Mommy writes blog. Mommy wants to cry.
8:25 p.m.: Mommy wants to go enjoy foot bath. Husband is telling me my foot bath water is going to get cold. Good night.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Skirts Up
A friend of mine recently posted on her blog some pictures of her family visiting a wax museum. The museum was filled with replicas of famous people. One of the pictures was my friend's daughter standing next to Marilyn Monroe in that well known "skirt-flying-up" pose. I don't know the story behind that whole deal as it is a bit before my time, but of course I know of the picture!
Anyway, I thought of that picture this morning as I read a passage in Genesis. Rachel and Leah are fleeing with their husband Jacob and Rachel had stolen her father's idols before they fled. Her father catches up to them and in a long speech he reprimands them for stealing his idols. Jacob is unaware that Rachel had stolen them and had them hidden under her skirt. When being searched for the idols Rachel says to her father, "Please sir, forgive me if I don't get up for you. I'm having my monthly period" (Genesis 31:35). Ha! What an excuse!
Besides Rachel's cunning lie, I was intrigued with why Rachel stole her father's idols. Maybe this is obvious to you, but I found myself convinced that Rachel believed in her heart that just in case Jacob's "God" didn't pull through, she had a contingency plan. She had doubt in her heart. She didn't know Jacob's God as he knew Him. "Just in case we get in a bind, daddy's 'gods' could help us out" is what I see her thinking.
The application here to me, is what "contingency plan" do I have hidden up my sleeve or skirt as it were? Just in case God doesn't come through, I will strive. Or just in case things don't work out I will make a plan of my own. Just in case I'll just sit on this one.
With Almighty God we don't need a contingency plan. He is the "All Sufficient" God. The God who told Abram, "I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless. I will confirm my covenant between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers" Genesis 17:1-2). God Almighty doesn't fail, doesn't fall short, doesn't need help, never sleeps, never changes and never leaves. Wow. Do you know this God? Do you know Him intimately?
Search my heart oh God. Reveal any idols that I have hiding in my garments. Help me to abandon any other gods and cling to the One True God. Goodness and mercy, righteousness, peace and joy unspeakable become my companions when I turn and embrace fully, with no inhibitions, the one TRUE God! I love you Lord. Be my everything today.
Anyway, I thought of that picture this morning as I read a passage in Genesis. Rachel and Leah are fleeing with their husband Jacob and Rachel had stolen her father's idols before they fled. Her father catches up to them and in a long speech he reprimands them for stealing his idols. Jacob is unaware that Rachel had stolen them and had them hidden under her skirt. When being searched for the idols Rachel says to her father, "Please sir, forgive me if I don't get up for you. I'm having my monthly period" (Genesis 31:35). Ha! What an excuse!
Besides Rachel's cunning lie, I was intrigued with why Rachel stole her father's idols. Maybe this is obvious to you, but I found myself convinced that Rachel believed in her heart that just in case Jacob's "God" didn't pull through, she had a contingency plan. She had doubt in her heart. She didn't know Jacob's God as he knew Him. "Just in case we get in a bind, daddy's 'gods' could help us out" is what I see her thinking.
The application here to me, is what "contingency plan" do I have hidden up my sleeve or skirt as it were? Just in case God doesn't come through, I will strive. Or just in case things don't work out I will make a plan of my own. Just in case I'll just sit on this one.
With Almighty God we don't need a contingency plan. He is the "All Sufficient" God. The God who told Abram, "I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless. I will confirm my covenant between me and you and will greatly increase your numbers" Genesis 17:1-2). God Almighty doesn't fail, doesn't fall short, doesn't need help, never sleeps, never changes and never leaves. Wow. Do you know this God? Do you know Him intimately?
Search my heart oh God. Reveal any idols that I have hiding in my garments. Help me to abandon any other gods and cling to the One True God. Goodness and mercy, righteousness, peace and joy unspeakable become my companions when I turn and embrace fully, with no inhibitions, the one TRUE God! I love you Lord. Be my everything today.
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